What the?

...my education on-the-job, continues...they anonymously publish ea. person's scores, after every week...that determines "team standings"...again, mine were in the basement for being too slow on calls + a "security violation"...well, that last one is ?able...I "thought" I heard the customer dictate the proper address info...hard to tell on a line that sounds like a water pipe...anyway, I am dragging down my team's scores & a "coach" is going to place me in a room, next week, and sit in on all of my calls for an hour...grateful as I am, I am REALLY trying not to be nervous about this, but my body system feels like a lemur in a bear trap!  Again, everyone's been really nice, but I am pretty damned sure, by now, that I see the writing on the wall...If I don't pick up the pace they way they want to, I'll be out the door...Plus w/the economy the way it is, all of our calls have been more than halved...doesn't take a brain surgeon to see that "sales are down" and hence calls, too...thank God my dad's old co. was taking resumes...but, I've been out of those games for a while, so who know's when I'll hear anything back... Well, I don't need to mention the financial woes, out there, so I won't...but that is having a worrisome bearing on my feelings, on the job...but, I'm trying to ignore it.  I haven't even checked my IRA, lately...maybe there's some spare change left in there... I am starting a 14-fast at 5:00, for a 7 A.M. blood test, tomorrow...am also taking 2.5 hrs. personal time, afterwards...might do a quick breakfast, or just mull things over in my dad's car, until the bus to work comes...I need to really do some hard thinking...I never seem to have the answers when I need them...I could use a bunch, now... Hope everyone has a beautiful day!