Whaaat?
Just a quick rant. So while waiting at the bus stop with my son at 6:30 this morning, I received a call from a good friend. My son got on his bus and we started talking while I was walking in the front door. She asked me had I talked to my ex-husband. I laughed and said you know we haven't spoken in months. She told me she would send me a picture of something he posted on Facebook. Shortly after I received the pic and read it, I became angry. My ex has broken up with his skank and he believes that I contributed to it. What the hell? He goes on about there are just some things he is not going to compromise for in a relationship and how I treated him is one. Once again, what the hell? How can you blame me for your relationship with another woman? If you all did not work out, that has nothing to do with me.
Another friend calls me a little while ago and tells me that my ex has been on Facebook non stop these last few days talking about all the heartache he has experienced from women during life. Huh? My friend goes on to say that my ex has deleted the majority of those posts because a lot of people were telling him to stop blaming others for those issues; he needs to look at himself. I am just confused. How can he have so much angst toward me when he was the one cheating on me our whole marriage? He was the one belittling me. He was the one jealous of the relationship I have with our sons. He was the one who did not want to better himself. He was the one who wanted to hang in clubs instead of going to school and becoming more valuable in his now defunct career. All I did was support him and try to encourage him. How can he feel that way towards me?
I have since calmed down and realized that he is starting to hit bottom. He is trying to deflect his bad decisions in life, but unfortunately they are right in face and he has no where to run. He has nothing. No home, no career, his sons and family do not talk to him anymore and his life long friends washed their hands with him months ago. He is doing all he can to make it seem like he was in the right for his behavior. While I do have some pity for him, believe me, it is not enough to call and check on him. Let him fall. Maybe now he will hold himself accountable for his actions. But if not, whatever. I am in a better place and I refuse to go back to the hell he put me through.
Another friend calls me a little while ago and tells me that my ex has been on Facebook non stop these last few days talking about all the heartache he has experienced from women during life. Huh? My friend goes on to say that my ex has deleted the majority of those posts because a lot of people were telling him to stop blaming others for those issues; he needs to look at himself. I am just confused. How can he have so much angst toward me when he was the one cheating on me our whole marriage? He was the one belittling me. He was the one jealous of the relationship I have with our sons. He was the one who did not want to better himself. He was the one who wanted to hang in clubs instead of going to school and becoming more valuable in his now defunct career. All I did was support him and try to encourage him. How can he feel that way towards me?
I have since calmed down and realized that he is starting to hit bottom. He is trying to deflect his bad decisions in life, but unfortunately they are right in face and he has no where to run. He has nothing. No home, no career, his sons and family do not talk to him anymore and his life long friends washed their hands with him months ago. He is doing all he can to make it seem like he was in the right for his behavior. While I do have some pity for him, believe me, it is not enough to call and check on him. Let him fall. Maybe now he will hold himself accountable for his actions. But if not, whatever. I am in a better place and I refuse to go back to the hell he put me through.
Replies
damn...You know what they say about karma?? He is reaping what he has sown and you are correct to have ZERO sympathy. My ex lost her job after breaking up with me and hooking up with my daughters boyfriend\'s dad and she hasnt had any luck getting employed since. I wondered how she could have lost a great job at a community college she had for 17 years, then it dawned on me they mustve got tired of the new and improved version of herself too, just like her own children have. Oh well...not my problem anymore either. The Bank of Coop is closed lol. I covered all her crap for 24 years, her overdrafts and whatnot she could never hang onto a nickel. Sounds like you are getting along fine. Hope that getting updates on your ex doesnt hurt you too bad, if it does tell your friends to stop the news bulletins lol. I deleted FaceBook after the break, I just do better remaining ignorant to her antics. Nice hearing from you :)
The updates did hurt in the beginning. I discussed this with my friends and now it is rare that they call me with anything about him. If they do, it pertains to his life getting worse and worse. Lol. I just wonder if he will go through the rest of his life thinking that he has been victimized and not holding himself accountable for his behavior.
Oh, well. You are right. I am doing fine. Each day I am thankful for my boys and I waking up and that we now have stability in our lives. Oh, and another update. My ex is probably really upset that child support has caught up to him. I was informed that they garnished his check last week and I should be getting my first payment soon. Yes......I am doing okay. Thanks for your support Coop. Stay strong.
I am glad you are going to be getting financial support and that you are not letting the updates get to you anymore. Be sure you stay safe...I\'m not sure if he\'s ever been violent, but the fact that he is suddenly blaming you for things again and at the same time starting to get his checks garnished, concerns me a bit. You know he\'s hitting bottom, so who knows what he\'s capable of now.
I never thought of that 11. He has never been violent with me, but he does have a temper. I will make sure to be vigilant and also have my boys pay more attention to their surroundings. Thanks for another perspective.
I don\'t understand the angst thing either. My stbx told me he finds it hard to talk to me because he\'s so angry with me even though he was the one who cheated. These people clearly have significant character flaws including the inability to take responsibility. Ignore him and drive on. He\'s getting exactly what he deserves.
One thing I have learned about people that have low character, they blame everybody else. If they were more accountable they would probably have been doing the right thing by their wives and children..or significant other. Yes..it\'s sad but he is doing exactly what people who have no one to blame other than themselves do...which is to play victim. After I took my ex to court and he had to start paying allll that money back..he made it like I was rolling in the dough..like he was doing me a FAVOR..lol. What?? They got issues we can\'t fix.
You got a direct line to his Facebook ..I would only want to hear the news if it was in my favor..then I would do the victory dance..the \"I\'m not married to him, who\'s sorry now\" victory dance. YES!!
You\'re doing great!