Went to work
I made it to work today! I teach ballet and I love it usually. Getting up was really hard, but I did it. I didn't make it to the shower, but thats okay I made it. I survived class number 1 and was feeling spacy. Class two was really hard for me, the 3 and 4 year olds were extremely hard, and one of the girls fell over when I touched her, she just lost her balance when I was fixing her, but I had to fight a panic attack really hard my heart was beating so fast and I thought I was going to cry. Which really threw me off today, I ended class 15 minutes early on accident :( and the parents were like, uhhh? and I was like oh SHIT and the kids just never came back to my attention the rest of "class" their minds were GONE so that was really hard. I had a new girl in my third class whose mom drives me nuts, she used to dance at the studio. She talks a lot and I found myself having a hard time with that. My fourth class were older girls, who seemed to be as sad and bored as I was. I'm done for the day, I'm ready for a nap and to be back in my bed. But, I am proud of myself for making it through 4 hours of teaching.
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I too have hypothyrodism and it took a while to level out. I was diagnosed at 33 but I had it for a long time. My niece was just diagnosed at ten. I had always felt tired and unable to keep up which I thought was just me and my self esteem was low because of it. I realized that it was all due to the hypothyrodism after some years on Levothroid.
I was drugged and raped May 2006 and subsequently stalked and maligned by the rapist. A lot of what you describe in your A Call For Help post is what I went through from the rape and the rest and it is called Post Traumatic Stress Symdrome.
Bravo, Brenna! I know today was hard for you but the fact in the end is that you did it when you really could have run away if you wanted to. It\'s the baby steps that make things better and you did it. kudos to brenna =D