Went to AA. Made my first day
Feeling proud. I went to my first ever AA meeting two days ago. Very small group. All who spoke had been sober decade or more. I took it all in, stayed quiet. After meeting, a woman approached me, made me feel comfortable, gave me some literature, including a meeting book (wow! So many!), and gave me phone number and hoped to see me at the meeting the next day. I felt great all day. Witching hour hit that night, and drank like I wake every day.
Yesterday, went back to same meeting. Listened. Let my guard down and spoke. It was actually easy. People were very accepting and had the same stories as me. Afterwards, two more women came up to me. Again got more encouragement, exchanged numbers with someone else. Was encouraged to dump any vodka in the house down the drain. Decided I had to think in the "now," instead of the later, went home, dumped it, texted that to them, felt so relieved and, despite how dumb it sounds, enlightened. Got checking in texts a few times that day. Decided rather than napping or watching TV that night, I'd read the 12 steps book they loaned me, not look at the clock, not do anything to keep me awake longer than I had to be. I just knew I wasn't going to go the liquor store. I knew I was going to make it a day. I felt so relieved. Sleep sucked, but I made it. I am so thankful.
Going to two meetings today. Feeling so good, but worried that I my crash and burn with my enthusiasm. But forging ahead, one step at a time. Again, I am so proud of myself. I hope to feel this way forever.
Yesterday, went back to same meeting. Listened. Let my guard down and spoke. It was actually easy. People were very accepting and had the same stories as me. Afterwards, two more women came up to me. Again got more encouragement, exchanged numbers with someone else. Was encouraged to dump any vodka in the house down the drain. Decided I had to think in the "now," instead of the later, went home, dumped it, texted that to them, felt so relieved and, despite how dumb it sounds, enlightened. Got checking in texts a few times that day. Decided rather than napping or watching TV that night, I'd read the 12 steps book they loaned me, not look at the clock, not do anything to keep me awake longer than I had to be. I just knew I wasn't going to go the liquor store. I knew I was going to make it a day. I felt so relieved. Sleep sucked, but I made it. I am so thankful.
Going to two meetings today. Feeling so good, but worried that I my crash and burn with my enthusiasm. But forging ahead, one step at a time. Again, I am so proud of myself. I hope to feel this way forever.
Replies
I am so proud of you also! Keep in the now and don\'t try to think too far ahead. It doesn\'t surprise me you felt enlightened.....when 2 or more minds come together looking for a better way....that\'s when our Higher Power steps in and provides that better way, giving us what we need so we only need to worry about sober....God Bless! Here they are:
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
(1) We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
(2) We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
(3) We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
(4) No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
(5) That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
(6) We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
(7) Self-seeking will slip away.
(8) Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
(9) Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
(10) We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
(11) We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
(12) Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among ussometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
That\'s One in a row. No one has ever gotten to any number without first getting here. Congratulations! I will be praying for you.
Yes! AM working on it. On day 3 and now have 5 meeting under my belt. So glad I took the step and wish I\'d known how wonderful AA would be.
All prayers welcome, RugerFan. Thank you.