Went in Body but not Spirit....

Ok I went to the barbeque. I would actually say that I made an apperance I guess. One of those things I do to keep everyone around me off my back. Sometimes it's just easier to go out and apeeze everyone than to have to answer and explain a hundred times why I didn't go. Another friend of mine is getting married in Oct and her Bridal Shower is next week and already everyone is asking. " Are you going T?" What time are you going? What are you going to get her? Then if I say i'm not sure if i'm going, Oh CHEESE AND RICE this opens up a whole other conversation. Why T Why aren't you going? Is it because of Wayne?  NO DIP SHIT IT'S BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T LIKE CRAB PUFFS OR TOILET PAPER WEDDING DRESSES!!!! Sometimes I feel it's better to just go swallow my feelings along with alot of wine put on a smile face and wait til I get home then SCREAM!!!!!
My friends were like Yeah!! T's here!!!!! so happy to see me which I am grateful to have such beautiful friends. But all the kissy kissy newlywed stuff sitting on his lap when there's a perfectly good chair right there. The ass grabbing and baby this and baby that. I think I need some pissed off divorced friends to hang out with or at least a married couple who has but in at least 15 years and watching the game means ACTUALLY WATCHING THE GAME ya know.  Sometimes I feel that my friends are so wrapped up in their own happiness and I know they want me to share that joy with them but, they really don't know what i'm going through do they? Otherwise they would quit constantly invited me to all these things having to do with happily ever afters. It's just not what I need right now and everytime I go I end up feeling so much worse than if I just stayed home and caught up on True Blood. Don't laugh SEXY HOT VAMPIRES always makes me happy.....