Went Grocery Shopping today
I have a ton of food now! I have the chicken I need for the month, food for Angela (the cat), the soda that Geo wants for the month and plenty of other good stuff. I got a bunch of corn tortillas so I can continue with my corn tortilla and sour cream "macos" and Wheat Thins and hummus. I also got baby carrots and low fat ranch dressing. I just got a whole bunch of goodies! I'm so happy that I have all this good food to eat now. I love going to the grocery store... there is so much good food out there that I can eat and I'm happy with. I got a ton of frozen veggies to add to stuff like ramen and other soups to make them healthier too.
It's getting easier and easier for me to buy food for myself now that I have my own food stamps and we have more money. Before, I had no self confidence when it came to food and would just buy Geo everything he wanted and didn't get anything I wanted. Now I get the things I want too so I'm not deprived and have to eat crap because that's all that's in the house. My stomach is hurting a bit now, but I think that's because I ate too much. I ordered some protein powder in the mail that I will get this week, because my protein levels are always low. If I want to build muscle, I will need more protein. I eat chicken every night, but that's my main source of protein so I need to get more in. I think a protein shake should help me get to where I need to be on it. I eat a lot of carbs, so to up my protein should be good to balance out the carbs. I'm still going to try and stay in the same calorie range (1450-1800) but just change the balance of what I'm going to eat.
I weighed myself today and had a bit of a crisis. I've been depressed and low on calories, but still managed to gain half a pound. I was fighting off the ED voice for a while... telling me to take lax and other stuff to try and get the weight off so I could weigh again and be at a better weight. It's funny, I've never had lax problems before, but lately it's been on my mind. Just to take them the night before I weigh so I can be at a lower weight. But I know it's a slippery slope between taking lax once and then all the time, just like it's dangerous for me to be okay with eating only 1000 cals in a day because I'm not feeling well. I have to force myself to eat, or else I get into the wrong mindset. If I start restricting and losing weight, I can easily fall into ana again, and that's the last thing I want. I want to lose weight the right way. I know it's my medications that are preventing me from losing weight, but it's hard to tell yourself that when you look at the scale and it says you have gained even though you are doing everything right. I guess this week should be better since I have all this good food to eat.
I've been feeling pretty good all day. The depression hasn't hit me too hard today, and going to the grocery store was a good change. I like going shopping, even if it is just for food. I'm learning to enjoy spending a bit of money here and there just to know that it's going to good things. Angela was happy today when I came home with a big thing of cat food, both wet and dry. Geo was happy because I came home with a bunch of good food, and everyone was just happy in general. Today was a good day at Rissa's house.
Sleep/Stress/Food- Sleep, I got 12 hours. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night and then slept it off today, but no nap. Stress- low today, feeling pretty good overall. Food- Had chicken soup for breakfast, macos for lunch, regular dinner. I had some hummus, wheat thins, baby carrots and ranch dressing for a snack. Last night after midnight I had some ramen with mixed veggies and a bit of ranch dressing (don't diss it- I know it sounds gross but I like it) because I was craving it. I wish I would have slept instead of eaten, but there's nothing I can do about it now. I eat at night sometimes because it helps my pills kick in faster and prevents stomach problems.
It's getting easier and easier for me to buy food for myself now that I have my own food stamps and we have more money. Before, I had no self confidence when it came to food and would just buy Geo everything he wanted and didn't get anything I wanted. Now I get the things I want too so I'm not deprived and have to eat crap because that's all that's in the house. My stomach is hurting a bit now, but I think that's because I ate too much. I ordered some protein powder in the mail that I will get this week, because my protein levels are always low. If I want to build muscle, I will need more protein. I eat chicken every night, but that's my main source of protein so I need to get more in. I think a protein shake should help me get to where I need to be on it. I eat a lot of carbs, so to up my protein should be good to balance out the carbs. I'm still going to try and stay in the same calorie range (1450-1800) but just change the balance of what I'm going to eat.
I weighed myself today and had a bit of a crisis. I've been depressed and low on calories, but still managed to gain half a pound. I was fighting off the ED voice for a while... telling me to take lax and other stuff to try and get the weight off so I could weigh again and be at a better weight. It's funny, I've never had lax problems before, but lately it's been on my mind. Just to take them the night before I weigh so I can be at a lower weight. But I know it's a slippery slope between taking lax once and then all the time, just like it's dangerous for me to be okay with eating only 1000 cals in a day because I'm not feeling well. I have to force myself to eat, or else I get into the wrong mindset. If I start restricting and losing weight, I can easily fall into ana again, and that's the last thing I want. I want to lose weight the right way. I know it's my medications that are preventing me from losing weight, but it's hard to tell yourself that when you look at the scale and it says you have gained even though you are doing everything right. I guess this week should be better since I have all this good food to eat.
I've been feeling pretty good all day. The depression hasn't hit me too hard today, and going to the grocery store was a good change. I like going shopping, even if it is just for food. I'm learning to enjoy spending a bit of money here and there just to know that it's going to good things. Angela was happy today when I came home with a big thing of cat food, both wet and dry. Geo was happy because I came home with a bunch of good food, and everyone was just happy in general. Today was a good day at Rissa's house.
Sleep/Stress/Food- Sleep, I got 12 hours. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night and then slept it off today, but no nap. Stress- low today, feeling pretty good overall. Food- Had chicken soup for breakfast, macos for lunch, regular dinner. I had some hummus, wheat thins, baby carrots and ranch dressing for a snack. Last night after midnight I had some ramen with mixed veggies and a bit of ranch dressing (don't diss it- I know it sounds gross but I like it) because I was craving it. I wish I would have slept instead of eaten, but there's nothing I can do about it now. I eat at night sometimes because it helps my pills kick in faster and prevents stomach problems.
Replies
Good to see you got a chance to get out and get the house restocked with food for a while, I am glad everyone is happy in your house, that makes for stress free living. You did not complain about your knee, it must be better, I am glad it is.
My knee is feeling better, thanks :) Glad to see someone\'s keeping track!