Wensday mood
today I woke up at 530 took a shower and then took my son to school. We sleep in the same bed but dont see each other. I wake up and go to sleep when she is still in bed and the lights are off. Very sad and lonely feeling Still trying to get hy head around what happened and what is happening. Her anger towards me and blaming me. Its not fair, conrad found her, I came in called the Fd and they saved her life.Went through hell for the next months (will write that down later) I am so angry that we are at where we are.
She shows no remorse, no apploigy, nothing toward what she did or who she put through it. It pissed me off. I am so mad and yet I am so hurt. I am expected to just keep going on this way, but she does not make any real attempt to change or appoligise . All very selfish. 2/1/12 wed
She shows no remorse, no apploigy, nothing toward what she did or who she put through it. It pissed me off. I am so mad and yet I am so hurt. I am expected to just keep going on this way, but she does not make any real attempt to change or appoligise . All very selfish. 2/1/12 wed
Replies
Fri,thud afternoon I felt down,wondering how this all went wrong. How after 20years,the resentments are so high. Last week, being fed up with an unmotivated 24year old son who comes home at 6am and sleeps until 1,late for work,does not clean or keep some type of order of the room he says in. I finialy had it, when I told him to get off his Sss and get going here and get stuff done....well he told me moms right you are an as...le. so I told Hilton get out, I am done,my wife is always on the 15year old, did the wash and cleaned the oldest room. So yesturdsy,I though, wow I have had 4 days or so of peace. Maybe the distance that has been going on would give her a positive perspective. Not a chance, she told my youngest that I blamed the oldest for the ruined marriage among other false statements. He defended me,told her that is not what happened and that his brother being 24 should be doing for himself. Her responce was she only trusts the older son and said something again about suicide. My 15 year old told her that he is fed up with what she says,that,just do it! I am very upset. That he has to go through this, I wish I was there when this took place. I am taking him to counseling today on my last$$. He does not need the garbage,he should have his mothers love like what my oldest son had growing up. So my thoughts of distance and that maybe improvements...well that\'s gone. I am also facing that my marriage is over,how do you get passes this, a spouse that hates herself,life,husband,everything. Its hard to keep things going, being positive,caring if that person blames you for everything, what is the point, I cannot go down with the ship. The ONLY thing that keeps me going is my SON!
Well its monday,my wife friend has changed her mind. I need to allow my oldest. Son back. I. Also need to allow her to drive. This is crazy,its all about them and what they want.nothing about my youngest son or how its affected him. No has given a care of what has gone on.they want the way of living back to what it was.I have changed.I am tired of the crap and refuse to live my life in that chose. I want peace,having it back would not do that.I do have a split desision
I am a father and feel that if the pressures are great my oldest will loose it,and use again.so, its like blackmail.I am so posses.one hr at a time. Boundaries!
My stbx took an overdose of sleeping pills. His comment to me was, \"what are you doing to me?\" Oh and there\'s more. We have a lot in common.
Un fuerte abrazo (hug) mr. strength.
My stbx took an overdose of sleeping pills. His comment to me was, \"what are you doing to me?\" Oh and there\'s more. We have a lot in common.
Un fuerte abrazo (hug) mr. strength.