Welll ... not doing so well

I have gotten to a meditation meeting every Tuesday for the last few weeks.  I sat a few times on my own ... but I am still resistent to really making the effort. What if it's not spectacular!??  What if I don't achieve total enlightenment after a month!? Oh no! This might be .... "work"!!!! So -- I want to toss away the results and just sit. Like Pema Chodron says -- too often, meditation starts with a subtle agression against what one already is -- as if this self plus meditation will be "better".  "Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream ...."    

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deleted_user
deleted_user

Very nice..