Well, this time it's less than a year :-)
...since my last entry. So much has happened but I'm just going to briefly update. It all started on Aug. 17th of last year. Steve & I were arguing about how to discipline Genavee (20 mos at the time) who was having a melt down. All 3 kids were around us. I got up to walk away and he threw Mattea's sneaker at me...at close range and so hard that it hurt and I said something like ouch, that hurt. I looked at the area and it was red, later becoming black & blue. I flew the next day but saw my counselor the day after & told him what happened, knowing full well that he would report it to DCF since the kids were there. I was hoping they would force Steven into anger mgt counseling. Instead, they came over several hours after the report, while my MIL was there and after extensive interviews of Steve, me and Liam (who verified where the shoe hit me), Steve was asked to leave the house for 5 days. My MILs true colors came out b/c when I showed her the bruise, she accused me of lying and said I got that on the airplane (I didn't even work the day this happened). She also accused me of causing nothing but 8 years of misery for her son. What a witch.
Steve decided not to move back so the DCF case was closed. I filed for divorce and we're in that process right now. Had mediation to work out a custody arrangement ... with Steve's long hours at work (he's a stand in on the Fox show "Breaking In" which goes til the end of this month), he can't have them at all during the week. I realized that Liam needed more one-on-one time with each of us, so I came up with the plan that 1 wkend I have all 3, 1 wkend Steve has all 3, 1 wkend I have Liam only, Steve has the girls and 1 wkend I have the girls while Steve has only Liam. It's working fairly well except for this month which is an on-call month for me & S is being shitty about helping out.
Went to court on 2/28 for child support issues ... as he makes more money than me when he's working (and I've been working less), he owes me $1329/mo plus $150/mo for childcare and half of unreimbursed medical expenses ... plus $200/mo for about 7 mos for child support in arrears. So far, I've seen only $200 on March 7th and I had to argue with him to get that. And so, I've started proceedings with the court to garnish his salary and opened a case with the child support agency which can garnish his unemployment (which he'll be on after the show ends) and hopefully his tax refund if they process the case in time...this may not happen.
The main problem is that he insists on living in the condo that we rented ... a 3 bedroom that costs $1850/mo. That plus his car loan (or should we say my car loan as it's still in my name .. he just tried to get it in his name and was turned down) which is $425/mo, gas is expensive, etc. He needs to either leave the condo or get a roommate ... he has someone in mind who I think is great but problem is he's unemployed and going thru a divorce as well.
I'm waiting to receive the garnishment papers signed by the judge .. should come this week and when S finds out about it, he's going to be furious. But it will force him to do something about the condo .. either get a roommate or move back in with his witchy mom .. as he did when he left last Aug. I'm being nice by leaving my name on the lease b/c I did call the mgt co. and if I take my name off, they have to do another credit check on Steve and I don't know if he would pass it. I may be forced to do so depending on what happens.
I also received an offer in the mail to refinance "my" car loan to 3.15% and I'm going to call about that and to see if they can stretch it out to a 6 yr loan in order to drastically cut the monthly payments. I've never known anyone who's such a financial basketcase...he's 52yo and has nothing to show for it.
Also, today is the 2nd year anniversary of watching my sister pass, and it's her bday as well. I thought things would get better with time and while I don't cry every day as I did in the beginning, I still think about her constantly and have now realized that there will always be a hole in my heart with her loss.
Okay, this is the end of the first installment as I need to finish my taxes b/c I'm seeing my acct tomorrow morning. TBC ... good news in my purchasing a house, and so-so news about kids illnesses during the winter.
Hope you all had a happy easter!
xo
Steve decided not to move back so the DCF case was closed. I filed for divorce and we're in that process right now. Had mediation to work out a custody arrangement ... with Steve's long hours at work (he's a stand in on the Fox show "Breaking In" which goes til the end of this month), he can't have them at all during the week. I realized that Liam needed more one-on-one time with each of us, so I came up with the plan that 1 wkend I have all 3, 1 wkend Steve has all 3, 1 wkend I have Liam only, Steve has the girls and 1 wkend I have the girls while Steve has only Liam. It's working fairly well except for this month which is an on-call month for me & S is being shitty about helping out.
Went to court on 2/28 for child support issues ... as he makes more money than me when he's working (and I've been working less), he owes me $1329/mo plus $150/mo for childcare and half of unreimbursed medical expenses ... plus $200/mo for about 7 mos for child support in arrears. So far, I've seen only $200 on March 7th and I had to argue with him to get that. And so, I've started proceedings with the court to garnish his salary and opened a case with the child support agency which can garnish his unemployment (which he'll be on after the show ends) and hopefully his tax refund if they process the case in time...this may not happen.
The main problem is that he insists on living in the condo that we rented ... a 3 bedroom that costs $1850/mo. That plus his car loan (or should we say my car loan as it's still in my name .. he just tried to get it in his name and was turned down) which is $425/mo, gas is expensive, etc. He needs to either leave the condo or get a roommate ... he has someone in mind who I think is great but problem is he's unemployed and going thru a divorce as well.
I'm waiting to receive the garnishment papers signed by the judge .. should come this week and when S finds out about it, he's going to be furious. But it will force him to do something about the condo .. either get a roommate or move back in with his witchy mom .. as he did when he left last Aug. I'm being nice by leaving my name on the lease b/c I did call the mgt co. and if I take my name off, they have to do another credit check on Steve and I don't know if he would pass it. I may be forced to do so depending on what happens.
I also received an offer in the mail to refinance "my" car loan to 3.15% and I'm going to call about that and to see if they can stretch it out to a 6 yr loan in order to drastically cut the monthly payments. I've never known anyone who's such a financial basketcase...he's 52yo and has nothing to show for it.
Also, today is the 2nd year anniversary of watching my sister pass, and it's her bday as well. I thought things would get better with time and while I don't cry every day as I did in the beginning, I still think about her constantly and have now realized that there will always be a hole in my heart with her loss.
Okay, this is the end of the first installment as I need to finish my taxes b/c I'm seeing my acct tomorrow morning. TBC ... good news in my purchasing a house, and so-so news about kids illnesses during the winter.
Hope you all had a happy easter!
xo
Replies
Oh Michelle... you have not had a break since the twins arrival! I am so sorry but happy you are finding a better life for you and the kids. I think of your sister often and remembered her passing.. can\'t believe it\'s already been 2 years. Good luck with the taxes (thanks for the reminder as my tax guy needs info I keep forgetting to send!) and hope you have nothing but sunshiney days from this moment forward!
xoxoxo
Martha
Wow, Michelle, I am just seeing this a month after you wrote it. You have been going through so much, I am so sorry! I really hope S decides to man up and be a good Dad and pay what he\'s supposed to without you having to fight for it (going forward). I hope the kids illnesses were minor and that your health and theirs is good. Big hugs!
Oh Michelle, I am so sorry. Big Hugs my friend.
Thank you Marilyn, Yvonne & Liz. It\'s still sad in a way b/c as a child of divorce, this isn\'t what I wanted for my children but I never dreamed Steve\'s anger would be such a problem & that he would be in total denial about it. Have to type installment #2 soon but just wanted to thank you again for your support.
P.S. Yvonne, Genavee ended up with MRSA (the worse of the 2 types of staph infection) in Dec, Liam had pneumonia in Jan, then Mattea got MRSA, Liam had bronchiolitis (sp?) but still had to have a chest xray to be sure it wasn\'t pneumonia and then Gena got MRSA again...all in a 2 month stretch of time! Thankfully, everyone\'s been healthy since then.
Michelle, Yikes on all the illnesses your little ones had in such a short time frame! I\'m glad everyone\'s been healthy since then. You definitely need a break!
Big hugs to you. You are an aamazing mom and the kids are so lucky to have you! Keep your chin up! xoxoxox