well...nothing yet......

I am on day 34. Usually get the meany on the 31st...and yes I can test but cannot...I am scared for a rejection ...all these 5 years of negative outcomes...I just cannot handle anything negative...I will cry..I have been soo emotional..oh geez! I just do not want to be depressed..so I am just waiting...My last prometrium suppost. was Monday night....and maybe that has made it late??? Believe me I am not hoping for it to come! and I know if I would just do a test it will solve all this mystery..the RE's nurse said could u please do one by the end of this week...man I am not wanting to!...I have AF cramps...all over under my belly button...my boobs stopped hurting on Sunday so whats up with that??? hmm...arent they supposed to be hurting??? Sunday and Monday i felt nausea in the evening time??? so I just dont know until I test.....I wish I had couple of u guys with me to help me through this....Like actually be present...