Well lost a friend
Yesterday I vented to a friend and to my shock she told me that she wants nothing to do with me because I am depressed.. Yes that was her words... Yet when she was having her low times I stood by her and supported her right through it all, even though she mad me upset or she got phyical when she was mad at her life. I was there when many where pushed out by her actions and words. And they had every right to leave the way she was treating them even before everything when bad for her, and she didnt help her case during.
But that really does not matter as once I get to that point she says she does not want me around bc I am depressed... yah so again I learn her real reason for wanting to be friends... I wanted to trust my heart more then what my thoughts where... But it turns out my thoughts where right she was only using me bc I live right down the road from her ex and she could get information from me, and I would do what she wanted, and the only reason we became friends again after a rough break in our friendship over someone lying to her and she trusted them vs me. A year after that she needed me in court as a witness so she started being nice and starting to be friends again... Nothing like thinking it the whole relationship and then come when I need her the most she says this, and that makes me know my thoughts where right and I should have trusted my mind over what I really was hoping I could trust.
oh well there goes another friend from my life. but then again she really was not a friend... At all... I saw what I wanted to... Not what was really there... Only this hurts my trust again... how can you trust when your trying to trust people and then this keeps happening... its hard to learn when it keeps turning up trust no one!
I hate this but then again true friends are there for their friends so really I guess I got rid of a fake friend who I mistaken for a real friend. Wont make that mistake twice... only now it will be even harder to have friendships when I cant trust they are really friends and not fake....
But that really does not matter as once I get to that point she says she does not want me around bc I am depressed... yah so again I learn her real reason for wanting to be friends... I wanted to trust my heart more then what my thoughts where... But it turns out my thoughts where right she was only using me bc I live right down the road from her ex and she could get information from me, and I would do what she wanted, and the only reason we became friends again after a rough break in our friendship over someone lying to her and she trusted them vs me. A year after that she needed me in court as a witness so she started being nice and starting to be friends again... Nothing like thinking it the whole relationship and then come when I need her the most she says this, and that makes me know my thoughts where right and I should have trusted my mind over what I really was hoping I could trust.
oh well there goes another friend from my life. but then again she really was not a friend... At all... I saw what I wanted to... Not what was really there... Only this hurts my trust again... how can you trust when your trying to trust people and then this keeps happening... its hard to learn when it keeps turning up trust no one!
I hate this but then again true friends are there for their friends so really I guess I got rid of a fake friend who I mistaken for a real friend. Wont make that mistake twice... only now it will be even harder to have friendships when I cant trust they are really friends and not fake....
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