well it's official now

I had exactly three friends in the entire world -- we used to get together every week to play cards games. And for the past few weeks I have felt that these friends were slipping away from me.  It was like a bad nightmare that kept getting worse...people who had said they loved me suddenly hated me, and no matter what I said or did they always took it badly and got even more angry with me and said a lot of things that I think were extremely unfair. Just a nightmare.
So I've been hanging onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, if I laid low and didn't say anything, then maybe all these bad feelings would blow over and our little group would continue. But the one person I was most worried about -- she has a very bad temper -- has just pulled the plug. Her husband is another member of the group, and the third person in the group is angry with me, so that's it. I have lost the only friends I had in the world. I will have NO ONE during the holidays and for the foreseeable future.
It's not just losing the company. Now, with all my health problems, I have no one to call or help me if I have to go to the doctor again. Also, I am dead broke and unemployed. They are rich and would occasionally give me things, extra food they didn't need and stuff like that. And I was hoping to use them as references when I went looking for a job soon. Now I have no one.
I had a feeling this was coming, but still. I'm probably in shock right now. But I am so damn sick of crying -- it only makes my health problems worse. I'll try to think positive but damn it is hard right now.