Well I am ok but...
Well I am ok, now, but earlier I had my moment, if fleeting. I don't know if it's the crappy weather, the fact it's Monday and I don't do Monday's well at all, or both...but I had to go to the bank on my lunch hour, and as I was leaving the teller says "Thank you Mrs. or shall I say Ms. L"....don't know why it triggered me but it did. In my nutso brain, I heard Ms. as equalling loser...you can't stay married to be called a Mrs. Then I got thinking of having him served by the sheriff and I just felt a little sad b/c no matter what he's done, somewhere deep I "love" him in a weird way. Then I come back to work and start digging in my drawer where I have hidden copies of the 150+ disgusting gross printed emails (for safe keeping) and started to read them again. I thought about my 13th anniversary coming up on next Monday, and I just started to well up. I fought those tears to the best of my ability...fought that they would NOT stream down my face again. Yet they did but I quickly wiped them and just thought this is why I must be done.
Oh and my back has been killing me for the last few days so I am walking around like Quasi-Moto in need of a calcium pill...grrrrr....
Oh and my back has been killing me for the last few days so I am walking around like Quasi-Moto in need of a calcium pill...grrrrr....
Replies
I am s sorry.. I know how those triggers can be. So you have stuff, ugly stuff to remind you why you are going through this, why you should not care?? That is a great idea. Because it is so easy to remember the good times, so easy to get sentimental.... I send you hugs...
Oh, I hate the \"Mrs\" trigger! (((((((Hugs))))))) Glad you read those e-mails. Smart lady. Sorry about that anniversary coming up.. hope it passes by quickly.
Hope that back feels better, too.
(((((((((((llmt))))))))) The rollercoaster ride sucks!
Take care of that back.
I also hate the \"Mrs\" trigger. At work, my colleagues are still struggling with it. Some call me Mrs. H, other Ms. H. How tough can it be to drop an \'r\'?
Hugs to ya. I\'m sorry you had a crappy day. Hope tomorrow is brighter.
chiropractor?
someone called me Sir yesterday. I asked him to just call me Larry
When I was in the middle of my divorce someone suggested that each day I think of one thing I would never have to put up with from the ex. The biggie for me was the 4 to 5 cases of beer he drank every week. The bottom shelf of the fridge would never hold beer again.
It got my mind set from poor me to thank goodness that isn\'t going to happen again. It helped me to get the divorce I know I needed to have.
So when you doubt that you need a divorce pull out those emails again and remeber why you are doing this.
Speaking from experience, one day, you\'re going to take that pile of printouts and throw them out. Maybe not right now; not during your divorce proceeding, but someday, you\'ll burn that shit so you never have to see it again and relive it all over again.
I know next Monday will be difficult.....Please keep in touch and let us know if we can do anything to help!
(((((L))))) Sorry to hear your day was crap. If it helps at all, mine was too. I always sing my Monday song and have a beer after a cruddy Monday. It is to the tune of the Mickey Mouse theme song. M-O-N-D-A-Y S-U-C-K-S! Monday Sucks!
Anyhow, I agree with DAB, one of these days when the divorce is done, you\'ll be able to get rid of those emails and stuff and it will feel great. I bought an outdoor fire pit and I am going to throw all of the stuff I kept from the X\'s affairs in there and dance around it like a crazed freak.
I\'m sorry too, llmt. Ihate to see you cry, but I guess there\'s still some more in there to get out! But I do think it\'s good it\'s at work, for safe keeping. So he\'s been served by the sheriff, right at your house, right?
Now is the court date Monday, coming up this mondya??? Keep me posted. Sending ya huge hugs n kisses! xoxoxoxoxo Love ya girl!
Just tell them to call you Fabulous!
We\'re not losers, they are.
Come to my house and we can swap emails (I printed out mine too, and the texts messages), then we\'ll make copies, start a bon fire and roast weenies and pretend it\'s theirs!!
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