weird dream
A few years ago when T-Man when he was obviously struggling and out of control with his usage, my dreams and thoughts were all consuming about him and what we should do. I was a mess. Now? I've been able to sleep and my thoughts are not entirely focused on him like they used to be. Even with the latest news and the fact my husband and I still aren't on the same page. * I wanted to believe he was. I pressed him because I had a feeling he was saying what I wanted to hear, but I knew that when it would come to doing the tough love "thing" he couldn't do it.
Having said that - I had a strange dream. It involved my two younger sons. But before I begin I want to explain why my middle son was in my dream. In "real" life our second born revealed to us a few weeks ago that he has a drinking problem. Even though I was aware of his abusing alcohol and other drugs, in the past, I didn't think he was hooked. He seemed to move away from the drug scene too - he got his life together - he seemed very happy, pleasant to be around, more responsible, good sleeping patterns, wonderful girlfriend, and he was getting all A's in school. We never saw him drunk. He was that good at hiding it. In fact, he said that the reason he decided to tell us is - he came to a revelation while under the influence of mushrooms that he has a drinking problem! And that was the conversation we had when he told us of his concern for his younger brother - using heroin.
So last night I had a dream - which is weird because I seldom dream. Anyway, in the dream - I was in an empty room (all white) with a floor length mirror when the boys came in wheeling a red wagon filled with drugs. Heroin was in a strange form - clear liquid in a vial. I was curious and wanted to know how the boys feel when under the influence. So without their knowledge - I try it. Funny - in my dream it was more like a hallucinogen. I hated the feeling. Although it was fun to "fly" around the room - I absolutely hated it and could wait for the effects to wear off. I am not sure what the boys thought of my strange behavior, but maybe they were doing something too.
My middle son went to a AA meeting last night with a friend who was in the rock band with him in high school. My son was the lead singer. I loved that band but almost all of them had some kind of issue. At the time my son was battling depression and the friend he went to AA with last night was drinking then. Anyway, J is making some attempts. He decided he is going to handle this one his own - leaves drinking for weekends - and will go through the motions of "trying" to kinda stop. He says he not quite ready. It doesn't help that another friend of his (who lives around the corner from us) drinks heavily - which is where J spends a lot of his time. His friend is 24, lives at home, just started college last year, doesn't work and never has. He's a genius but seems to have a difficult time relating to others. J is good for him - but I don't think he's good for J.
Had a very good week teaching the art classes to the kiddos. Had a celebrity's child in my class. Funny - I couldn't say anything - like "I know who you are". I just didn't know how or what to say. I finally did. He was so friendly and nice. Silly me.
Next week I meet with the Middle School Principal about the program plans for next year. I'm not sure what he wants. I hope he wants the same programs so that we don't have to change anything. I am trying to decide if I should ask him what the deal is with the high school Principal. He used to work with him and told me he knows that the Principal doesn't want help because he wants to do things on his own. The hs principal did agree to meet with the director of the adolescent drug treatment center (that I arranged) and in that meeting the director told the principal that I wanted to talk to him. Yikes. He said a bit more than I thought he would but I was glad he did. So I email the hs principal to see if he can meet and AS USUAL - no response. I want to show him all the great stuff the h.s. can do to get more parents to attend the drug education programs and I won't give up until I do. I found out by one of the school board members that he just signed a 3 year contract! If he isn't willing to do more - than I will see if it's somehow possible to get the middle school to require parents to attend. I really don't care anymore about what parents feel about their rights being violated. According to some of the Buffalo district school members I talked to - there was little resistance - only a few that complained. I'm sorry but this about safety. Not just about their own children but for the safety of the community. The more the parents know about drug behavior, the dangers, what to do - the more they can do to make our community safer.
Having said that - I had a strange dream. It involved my two younger sons. But before I begin I want to explain why my middle son was in my dream. In "real" life our second born revealed to us a few weeks ago that he has a drinking problem. Even though I was aware of his abusing alcohol and other drugs, in the past, I didn't think he was hooked. He seemed to move away from the drug scene too - he got his life together - he seemed very happy, pleasant to be around, more responsible, good sleeping patterns, wonderful girlfriend, and he was getting all A's in school. We never saw him drunk. He was that good at hiding it. In fact, he said that the reason he decided to tell us is - he came to a revelation while under the influence of mushrooms that he has a drinking problem! And that was the conversation we had when he told us of his concern for his younger brother - using heroin.
So last night I had a dream - which is weird because I seldom dream. Anyway, in the dream - I was in an empty room (all white) with a floor length mirror when the boys came in wheeling a red wagon filled with drugs. Heroin was in a strange form - clear liquid in a vial. I was curious and wanted to know how the boys feel when under the influence. So without their knowledge - I try it. Funny - in my dream it was more like a hallucinogen. I hated the feeling. Although it was fun to "fly" around the room - I absolutely hated it and could wait for the effects to wear off. I am not sure what the boys thought of my strange behavior, but maybe they were doing something too.
My middle son went to a AA meeting last night with a friend who was in the rock band with him in high school. My son was the lead singer. I loved that band but almost all of them had some kind of issue. At the time my son was battling depression and the friend he went to AA with last night was drinking then. Anyway, J is making some attempts. He decided he is going to handle this one his own - leaves drinking for weekends - and will go through the motions of "trying" to kinda stop. He says he not quite ready. It doesn't help that another friend of his (who lives around the corner from us) drinks heavily - which is where J spends a lot of his time. His friend is 24, lives at home, just started college last year, doesn't work and never has. He's a genius but seems to have a difficult time relating to others. J is good for him - but I don't think he's good for J.
Had a very good week teaching the art classes to the kiddos. Had a celebrity's child in my class. Funny - I couldn't say anything - like "I know who you are". I just didn't know how or what to say. I finally did. He was so friendly and nice. Silly me.
Next week I meet with the Middle School Principal about the program plans for next year. I'm not sure what he wants. I hope he wants the same programs so that we don't have to change anything. I am trying to decide if I should ask him what the deal is with the high school Principal. He used to work with him and told me he knows that the Principal doesn't want help because he wants to do things on his own. The hs principal did agree to meet with the director of the adolescent drug treatment center (that I arranged) and in that meeting the director told the principal that I wanted to talk to him. Yikes. He said a bit more than I thought he would but I was glad he did. So I email the hs principal to see if he can meet and AS USUAL - no response. I want to show him all the great stuff the h.s. can do to get more parents to attend the drug education programs and I won't give up until I do. I found out by one of the school board members that he just signed a 3 year contract! If he isn't willing to do more - than I will see if it's somehow possible to get the middle school to require parents to attend. I really don't care anymore about what parents feel about their rights being violated. According to some of the Buffalo district school members I talked to - there was little resistance - only a few that complained. I'm sorry but this about safety. Not just about their own children but for the safety of the community. The more the parents know about drug behavior, the dangers, what to do - the more they can do to make our community safer.
Replies
Ahhh, the mushrooms. They were a validating source of much of what my son told me, then didn\'t remember.They are so available out there and apparently so cheap.
The dream, that\'s weird, but I have weird dreams all the time. I think possibly it was because you wonder what they see in these drugs. I have felt this and dreamed similar, but iI didn\'t try them in my dream, my kid tied me up and made me take it so I can see \"how harmless it is\". That was a while ago, though I will not forget it.
My boy is the drummer of a band or tow as well, a musician.Those boys tend to be predisposed to being on drugs if you ask me. It seems to be assumed they use them, many of their friends do, so why not them? Not that I like it, but it is true to my experience being the mother of a Rock star so to speak. The friends may pressure the drinking inadvertently by doing so in his presence, but he has to have the will to take his own NON alcoholic drink with him when he knows he will be near them. If he can do his drinking on weekends, that\'s cool too, but it can still be a problem only on weekends and he needs to know that. I love a drink every now and then, but wouldn\'t need one every weekend. Those who do, may have a problem with alcoholism in their near future if not already.
The AA meeting are cool and a great thing to have to do in case you are only left with the option of drinking or using as an alternative. Encourage them to attend, maybe go with them. I think I will like going to these as I do learn from the users. I can better understand them and be less judgmental of them. The friend who doesn\'t work has got it made, someones seriously enabling him. He is on easy street. Hopeful that someone will wake up and see the monster they are creating there.
Kids are great and art is great, I can\'t imagine the fun and conversations.I used to want to be a teacher for early childhood education.I took the study in high school in VA where I graduated.
It\'s great that you are working with his school for his education and getting him the help he needs to succeed, but I caution you about too much involvement with the school principle unless it involves a school matter. I used the help of the school, but have seen it be used against my kid before. If things happen, they are likely to be perused as responsible. The staff that you should be working with is the guidance. They can be friends to your kid and give them someone impartial to be trusting and helpful. Written suggestions, anonymously are great ways to share your desires to see things happen for the parents at school. You can drop any suggestion of in the office mailbox or parent room at your schools.Encouragin parents to attend is great, but I agree it would be felt to violate their rights if they are forced to attend. Perhaps incentives, which youcould solicit from your community organizations, could be used for drawings from the names of parents that attend these meetings. the more meetings you go to the better chances of your beiing drawn and you choose your own prize.
Have to go emergency calling, but talk soon.
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Sorry, I think I sent a blank. Not up to par yet!
Dreams can give us permission to do what we wouldn\'t ordinarily do, so you had a go at it.
I see the person above had some good ideas for keeping your work going. Don\'t forget you are doing something positive, no matter what kind of obstacle that HS principal puts up.
...Sounds like you have your hands full with coping with the family issues as well. I have 50% and that\'s bad enough, but having all 3 involved in drugs--well, I have to hand it to you for being able to communicate at all. Sometimes that is what keeps our heads above water, and i\'m just sending support.
You of all people have the knowledge and patience to deal with your sons!! At least J is taking some action and trying. I wish him the best because he will need so much support! The dream was revealing to you and makes you think outside the box. I have paid attention to mine that\'s for sure! So I\'m thinking of you and hope you are handling it ok - it\'s so damned hard!! Hugs, D.