Weird Day

today was pretty productive, i got a lot on my to-do list done, but i was also pretty distracted. i cleared out my old email address last night and found a message from a guy i called friend a long time ago. we were both members and then moderators of a depression group and we had a falling out after a period that was very stressful for him. i just couldn't deal with his rage and confusion at the time. there were some issues with paranoia as well, and exaggerated persecution. he was seeing enemies everywhere and it was really dragging me into something bad.  i was feeling more stable than i had in a long time and decided to leave the group and told him i couldn't continue our relationship because it was too painful for me. he responded badly and eventually told me he never wanted to speak to me again.  i was actually glad to hear from him. we'd had good talks and a comraderie that is hard to find. i told him i'd missed him and please write me back to let me know how he's been doing.  now i've been obsessively checking my email all day. not good. especially since my room is still a disaster zone. i'm feeling alright...straight middlin. but i do feel good about getting through some of my list. i'm going to prepare tomorrow's list now and then get a nap in before a late night cleaning session i think.