Weekend Alone
My ex did let me take my son to dinner on Friday. She was going to come with us, but then she had forgotten she had plans for a girls night out with friends from work. So, I got to pick him up, take him to dinner, and then to my apartment where he wanted to watch Arrow and Stargate SG1. I brought him home around 8:30 and she wasn't home yet, so no contact. I had a really nice time with my son, and am very appreciative.
I asked a woman from my pool league if she wanted to go to lunch and a movie with me Saturday. She said yes. I was surprised and a little nervous. But then she canceled due to the snowstorm Saturday. I don't mind driving in snow at all, so I went to the mall/movie theater, but then all of a sudden I didn't want to go alone. It is odd since I've gone to the movies alone three times since she left, but this time I felt weird. I actually texted my ex to see if she wanted to go. Fortunately, she passed. When will I stop doing stuff like that?
I didn't go to the movie, but instead drove around, got gas, etc. I ended up going to 5:00 Mass at an Episcopal Church I was driving by. It turns out they were having a special candle-light mass and it was quite moving. I'm glad I stopped.
I bought dinner on the way home, and spent a quiet night reading, but still had trouble falling asleep. The thoughts still come at night and the pain and I miss her, though I wouldn't take her back now - still I miss her terribly.
Today was tough for some reason. I did laundry and grocery shopping. I got a bagel for lunch and noticed that I'm still rotating a fresh bottle of water to her side of the car. She always wanted fresh water. I hadn't noticed I was still doing that. It has been a grieving day today. I guess I'll go out for dinner, and then hope I can sleep tonight. Back to work tomorrow. We're expecting a big snow storm on Tuesday, so I'll miss my garage, but I won't miss doing the driveway, and I will NOT be going over to do it for her.
I also realized that I'll need to get together with her or coordinate with her to do the taxes soon. Do I get to claim half the mortgage interest through April when I was paying the mortgage? Will I even be able to itemize now without a house? I'll need to claim child support for the first time. New things to learn...
I asked a woman from my pool league if she wanted to go to lunch and a movie with me Saturday. She said yes. I was surprised and a little nervous. But then she canceled due to the snowstorm Saturday. I don't mind driving in snow at all, so I went to the mall/movie theater, but then all of a sudden I didn't want to go alone. It is odd since I've gone to the movies alone three times since she left, but this time I felt weird. I actually texted my ex to see if she wanted to go. Fortunately, she passed. When will I stop doing stuff like that?
I didn't go to the movie, but instead drove around, got gas, etc. I ended up going to 5:00 Mass at an Episcopal Church I was driving by. It turns out they were having a special candle-light mass and it was quite moving. I'm glad I stopped.
I bought dinner on the way home, and spent a quiet night reading, but still had trouble falling asleep. The thoughts still come at night and the pain and I miss her, though I wouldn't take her back now - still I miss her terribly.
Today was tough for some reason. I did laundry and grocery shopping. I got a bagel for lunch and noticed that I'm still rotating a fresh bottle of water to her side of the car. She always wanted fresh water. I hadn't noticed I was still doing that. It has been a grieving day today. I guess I'll go out for dinner, and then hope I can sleep tonight. Back to work tomorrow. We're expecting a big snow storm on Tuesday, so I'll miss my garage, but I won't miss doing the driveway, and I will NOT be going over to do it for her.
I also realized that I'll need to get together with her or coordinate with her to do the taxes soon. Do I get to claim half the mortgage interest through April when I was paying the mortgage? Will I even be able to itemize now without a house? I'll need to claim child support for the first time. New things to learn...
Replies
I just learned that child support is not claimed, only alimony, so there is no deduction for me and she gets to claim him as a Dependant / exemption even though I pay half...
Fortunately I don\'t have to worry about the tax thing yet as we still haven\'t officially divorced. Hang in there. It just goes to show that this is still going to be a rough road ahead. I can relate to the water bottle thing. I always made coffee in the morning for both of us. Ever since the separation I almost always add water for 2 cups instead of my now 1 cup. I end up having to use the turkey baster to take water out of the reservoir.
I emailed my ex re:taxes. \"You can use my Turbo Tax and I will walk you through doing your taxes this year. Thereafter, you can buy Turbo Tax and you will know how to do them yourself. It will be pretty easy for you. This year is a little tricky because we filed joint last year, and we need to make decisions on who claims what.\"
She emailed back:
\" I will either prepare it myself, or find a recommended preparer if I don\'t feel like dealing with it. Thank-you for the offer, but I\'ll handle it on my end.\" \"It\'s not about seeing you, it\'s context. I want to deal with my own finances and I don\'t want to overlap that boundary with you.\"
That\'s all well and good, but we have to decide a lot of stuff like who claims how much of last year\'s state refund, who gets how much of the mortgage interest and property taxes as I paid the mortgage through April last year, who gets the Goodwill donation from January (split it?), and who gets to claim daycare expenses (her as he is her dependent for tax purposes? But I pay support?)
While I really don\'t want to see her, if she won\'t talk to me about these things, we could end up overlapping and getting audited. It is just something we have to do and get through in my opinion. It is fine if she does her own (should be easy) or uses a preparer, but we still need to synch up.