weekends

every day - every day is a learning experience with this disease i have had this figured out a million times, and then i realize i no nothing, and i have to humble myself to the reduction of an addict, i can talk a good game, i know all the advice to give, the ways to stay out of the casino and i expect it to just be easy, at times it is, i look at my situation and its shocking that its me
 
me and god have become VERY VERY close due to this, and i believe he has been waiting for me for a long time, and that i put too much emphasis on money and material life vs happyness within and giving away my time/love/money to others, and for that i am grateful
 
its is SO important for us to live in the moment, i have not done that for a long time, i just look at things slower now, quieter, anything simple, cutting onions, weeding, having my 9 year old exlain some crazy game she is playing that i could care less about, but its something important to her
 
be in the moment, its all we have, and what ive learned, is that i have alot to learn, which is great, i will read it all, ask all the questions, meet people, learn their point of view, get opinions, be happy, work it day to day, if i slip get back on the horse, learn from it, REMEMBER it does not define, repeat that, IT DOES NOT DEFINE ME, im alive and i have my life, thats alot, im already ahead of the game