Weekends :(
During the week life seems so much easier - is a routine - get up, get the kids ready, go to work, kids in school, pick them up, homework and dinner, bed and then all over again the next day but the weekends are so difficult. I miss my stbx so much, I feel so alone even though my kids are with me, I crave for his company, I just wish I could talk to him even for a little bit, I feel so pathetic right now and I just want to breakdown and cry - please God give me the strenght to get through today - tomorrow is another day and it will be better.
Replies
i am right there with you. my kids are at there dads right now and this is the first time they have ever spent the night. i am just laying on the couch doing nothing. but you are SO right tomorrow is another day and we will make it through this.
I feel you, right now im at a party with my friends, and even though Im surrounded by friends, I feel so lonely, everyone is with their spouse and Im alone. And people who doesnt know that Im separated and soon to bw divorce ask me about my stbx wife, and those whoo knows keep asking me how I am and asking me the reasons for her doing what she did (cheating and deciding to end our 10 year marriage) like I would know.
I feel like leaving and go to cry on the room that is my \"home\" now, but Im pushong myself to try to enjoy the party, but I miss her like hell and started to play the coulda, shoulda, woulda game in my mind, even though I know its painful and pointless, so lets promise the 3 of us to try to smile, ok ? My kids are with her this weekend so I know the feeling of this dreadful weekends, lets hug us and be positive, ok ?
When my stbx first decided we were heading towards divorce, it broke my heart and he was always gone. I hated those weekends. After several months, he did a 180 and decided that wasn\'t what he wanted, and by that point, I had already been accepting what was to come, seeing him for who he really was, seeing his behaviors for what they truly were, and seeing just how much I lost myself along the way during our marriage. I had been to see lawyers, I was doing pretty good at keeping going each day. I looked forward to him being gone, dreaded his return, and enjoyed my time away from him, away from the temper, the anger, the abusive words. I now despise the weekends when I am at home, having to deal with his BS and wish he would just go away and realize that we have nothing left, we have no marriage, we have nothing to save. We\'ve been so emotionally divorced for so many years, it\'s really hard to think back to a time when we were (or even just I was) truly happy being married.
I wish you the best. I know I have my tearful, frustrating days, just as we all do, but mine seem to be due to all the details surrounding what is to come - despite the fact that I want it so badly now. Big hugs to you.