Wednesday-June 11th,2008

I am not in a very good mood and I just feel so lousy.Brad is always screaming at the way that I clean and I am at the end of my rope.He treats me like crap and I cannot take it anymore.So i am planning a trip to who knows where but i must get away for a least a few days.I will go without him and all of the bills will be paid.He fixed the washing machine and it works good now but I still feel so overwhelmed.There is absolutely noone in seattle that I can talk to.I have got noone now.I am truly alone and I am about ready to scream if i do not talk to someone about this grief.I just feel so bad all the time and all I have are my cats.I love my little cat more then Brad and she means more to me then anyone else.I do not love Brad at all and I think that I never did.I have decidied to take a vacation every year and  I refuse to tell him where I am going.I do not love him anymore and I do not know what to do.Love and men have done nothing but hurt me and the men in seattle stink.They are very,very immature and I just cannot take them anymore.I like feeding the cats and such and talking to the animals.I also like my cats better and if i could i would give my money to the cats instead of certain people.I am just so depressed now and I am on the verge of crying.All I have is pain and that is the truth.But the truth is this..You have to have money to get the things that you want and if you do not have any money you are dirt here.I feel so much alone and I feel so much scared.I have always liked being alone and maybe I should go the rest of my life solo.