Wednesday,halfway through another week

Good morning journal,the time is now 8:39am and I am awake.I had another fitful and disturbed night of sleep which was interrupted by periods of wakefulness,sometimes due to our dogs,and,at others,due to a throbbing pain in my lower back which was present for most of yesterday,and still,is making it's presence known this morning.The last time I was awakened was by our oldest dog Buttons with her usual nudge with her nose,I got up to let her out,put on my robe,turned around,and she was fast asleep on my side of the bed.This is a stunt she has pulled hundreds of times and I always fall for it,but as she lay beside her human mother and her two siblings with her eyes tightly closed like a child pretending to be asleep,I couldn't find it in me to be even mildly cross with her,she is a cunning old thing,so I left her to enjoy the warmth of my vacated space and went to the kitchen in search of coffee.Now,halfway through my first invigorating mug of coffee of the day,I have decided to come here,to my journal,with no other thought in mind than to type and see what,if anything,appears on the screen before me.I tend to do that sometimes,I have no idea what I am going to type until it takes shape on the page,it's what I like to call,"blind writing",my mind is blank but sometimes,just sometimes,something will appear that I read and then think to myself,"oh,.....THAT'S what I've been trying to say". Anyway,let's deal with my current news first,my mental health social worker will come to visit us today at around 12:30pm,hopefully,as she promised last week,she will have some sort of proposed care plan in place for me,she is a somewhat bubbly and effervescent type of lady,and,if I'm honest,just trying to follow what she is saying most of the time leaves me exhausted,she speaks very quickly,making it very difficult to lip read her,so when I'm having trouble,I look at my wife who will then translate for me what I might have missed.Tina,my care worker,knows I am deaf and stops to allow my wife to tell me what she's been saying,I really just don't think she is capable of speaking any slower,it isn't her fault,it's just the way she is,it's a bit like running alongside someone on a motorcycle and trying to have a conversation with them at the same time,it's very hard,but between the three of us we manage.Hopefully,Tina will call disability for me today to find out just exactly what status my application for Personal Independent Payment,(P.I.P) is at,it has been three months now since I applied and the last time I had any contact with them all they could tell me was that it was still with the assessors,whoever they are.As with everything connected with government and their various agencies,everything seems to take an inordinately long time for anything to get done,especially it seems,if your asking for any help financially or otherwise,they just seem to file you away in a drawer marked,"we'll get around to you when we have nothing better to do,or if it's raining and we can't get outside",they simply don't seem to care.It is very hard not to become disheartened when everything you try to do is met with a seemingly impenetrable wall of silence or half truths,all I want is for somebody in authority to say,"yes,...your ill",and then take whatever appropriate action is needed to help alleviate my situation is that too much to ask?.We did mention my promised wheelchair to Tina last week,and pointed out to her that it was still conspicuous by it's absence in the space reserved for it in our lounge,I got measured for it on August 21st,I know they are building it especially for me,but if they had just sent the pieces to me in a box,I could have built the thing myself by now!,Tina's answer?,"yes,it does seem a long time to wait". When she comes today,I will ask her if her department can help,surely they must have an odd one or two wheelchairs laying about that they could say,"here you are,borrow this one until yours gets here",am I the only person on the planet who thinks that sounds like common sense?. I mentioned my voices to her last week,she said,"I believe you,it's just that other people around you can't hear them",I know that Tina,that's why they only speak to me,it isn't rocket science,we're not talking Fred and Wilma Flintstone and Bugs Bunny here,these are real people,they existed in real life,and,to me,they still do.I was grateful for the comments of my friends when I mentioned my voices in my journal entry of yesterday,they simply accepted what I was saying without looking for any explanation other than the one I gave,why is it so hard for everyone else?.I could literally see and sense Tina "switching off","okay,he's talking nonsense now,but he's ill",sort of thing,don't do that when you speak to me,if I have the honesty to tell you what is happening in my life,listen!,they are happening for a reason,and when my voices tell me why they have chosen me,I will tell you,whether you are interested or not,I feel no embarrassment or shame when I speak of them,why should you?. Whatever purpose or reason why I have been chosen will become clear,when they decide that they are ready for me to know,I know that,and I believe that,and I have the feeling that I am getting closer to finding out,and it doesn't really matter who believes me or not,I know,and that is enough. Well journal,I think that is enough for now,it's time to go make myself look presentable for Tina,my wife and our canine brood have come to join me in our lounge,so,until next time,may God continue to look upon us with His favor and grace,another day has begun.