Wednesday, February 27, 2008

   it's been 4 weeks today. odd how it seems longer yet at the same time i feel like i just talked to her yesterday. still wondering why things go in the directions they do. a friend wrote not to long ago about wanting to know the answers. i wrote back that we do finally get the answers just before we pass. wouldn't it be nice to get them sooner? maybe if i could figure out the right way to phrase the question it would become clearer. and no if the one i made a promise to reads this i will keep my promise, not going early to get the answer without telling you first. sometimes would just like to know if it was truly something i did or something i could change to make the emptiness go away. maybe like years ago i need to go back to the beach and just watch the waves, watch them just keep on trying . trying to wash us all away. i need so badly to find that place. i really do think it exsists, i see people enjoying themselves we all do. just would like to know why so many of us can't.