Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Well, I guess I'm moving forward. Scared shitless but moving forward nonetheless. I am signing the contract to buy the townhouse tomorrow morning. I know I'll be happy there but it is so frightening. The waiting until closing is going to be nervewrackling because I know I'll be second guessing myself the whole time.
Leaving for Hilton Head Friday morning. I'm getting pretty excited. The weather is only going to be in the 60's but compared to what I've been living with it's going to feel like the tropics. Had to buy all new clothes to fit the new "divorce diet" body so that will be fun. To actually be able to get dressed up and feel "hot" again. Been a long, long, long time for that. Ocean walks, hot tubbing, going out at night (oh my!) and tequila -- can't wait. I sound like a party fool and I'm really not but I so desperately need to just plain have a good time and be silly. This has been a long 8 months.
Rick, my rebound Magic Man, came back into my life with a bang. Still have no idea if it's ever going to go somewhere but I missed him and I'm glad to have him back. He's got a ton of issues of his own but in the month since I told him I didn't want to see him and I couldn't be just his friend he seems to have done a lot of thinking and is making big changes in his life. 3 steps forward, 2 back; 2 steps forward, 4 back. That's the way it is. And right now, it's all I can deal with too. Not ready for 24/7 with ANYONE, not even myself, lol!
So, I'm not in a bad place, just an anxious place. Xanax helps, thank God. I think I'll be living with this anxiety forever. Can't imagine it passing.
Thanks to all my DS buddies who are so supportive. I truly don't think I would have made it this far without you all.
Leaving for Hilton Head Friday morning. I'm getting pretty excited. The weather is only going to be in the 60's but compared to what I've been living with it's going to feel like the tropics. Had to buy all new clothes to fit the new "divorce diet" body so that will be fun. To actually be able to get dressed up and feel "hot" again. Been a long, long, long time for that. Ocean walks, hot tubbing, going out at night (oh my!) and tequila -- can't wait. I sound like a party fool and I'm really not but I so desperately need to just plain have a good time and be silly. This has been a long 8 months.
Rick, my rebound Magic Man, came back into my life with a bang. Still have no idea if it's ever going to go somewhere but I missed him and I'm glad to have him back. He's got a ton of issues of his own but in the month since I told him I didn't want to see him and I couldn't be just his friend he seems to have done a lot of thinking and is making big changes in his life. 3 steps forward, 2 back; 2 steps forward, 4 back. That's the way it is. And right now, it's all I can deal with too. Not ready for 24/7 with ANYONE, not even myself, lol!
So, I'm not in a bad place, just an anxious place. Xanax helps, thank God. I think I'll be living with this anxiety forever. Can't imagine it passing.
Thanks to all my DS buddies who are so supportive. I truly don't think I would have made it this far without you all.
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