Wednesday,before sunrise,and I am fully awake

Good morning journal,the time is 6:45am and I have been awake for just over one hour,on my first coffee of the day,and once again,I have decided to come to my desk in the absence of anything else useful to do at this time.Last evening,I had to go to bed at 7:00pm,I was just so tired that I could hardly keep my eyes open,I was also feeling quite ill,and,just before I retired for the night,I was physically and violently sick,I have no idea what caused it,I only know that the experience left me breathless and feeling incredibly weak.I fell asleep very quickly,and I remained in a state of dreamless rest until I awoke after a full ten and a half hours of sleep,even now,my eyes have an irritable sensation behind them,and I find myself rubbing them constantly,perhaps in an effort to wash the last vestiges of sleep from them,I don't know,but it is most annoying. Yesterday,my wife made several telephone calls on my behalf,she called the wheelchair people and ascertained that they hadn't forgotten about me,they are waiting on some more parts to be delivered,and as a result,they are behind schedule,but,the good news is,my new set of wheels should be delivered in about two weeks,three at the outside,that means that I should be mobile before Christmas at any rate,which would be a good thing. Then,she rang the complex mental health team to find out what has happened to my case worker,Tina Roberts,remember her?,Miss"I'm so bubbly I might explode?",well,the girl on the other end of the telephone couldn't say what had happened to her,and when my wife pushed her a little,she admitted that she had not seen hide nor hair of her all week,but,she promised,"I will get somebody to call you back". Well,we waited,....and then we waited some more,did they call back?,......nope!,so we are still no nearer knowing if Miss Roberts is still my social worker,or whether she has been a victim of alien abduction,white slavery,or in fact,is it just because she couldn't care less?,....my money is on the last one. I can't wait until Friday when I see my psychiatrist,will she put in an appearance there as she is supposed to?,if she does,I have a feeling my wife will have plenty to say to her,my wife is very protective towards me,and,right at this moment,the elusive Miss Roberts is not exactly at the top of her Christmas card list!. My wife is a very polite and courteous lady,and normally,she conducts herself in a manner which is very correct in public,but,when she senses that anyone she loves is threatened or in danger of being hurt,physically or otherwise,she very quickly takes on the persona of a mama bear protecting her cubs,and because of my illnesses,she sees me very much as one of her cubs,and that's when she shows her claws and bares her teeth,.....if I were Miss Roberts,I wouldn't show up on Friday!. As I sit here,the night has given way to sunrise,I say sunrise,but this is the UK,so there is very little in the way of sun,more a rather grey and damp start to another day,we seem to jump straight from Summer to Winter here,we very seldom have an Autumn or Fall to speak of,it is something we just accept,especially if we've been born here,my wife,being from Virginia,still has not acclimatized herself to the UK weather,even after all these years. Well journal,enough of my ramblings for now,I am going to spend the remainder of the next couple of days trying to store up reserves of energy that I will need over the next couple of weeks,I have my psychiatrist this Friday,pulmonary rehab twice next week,and sandwiched between them,I have the urology clinic and another appointment with the citizens advice bureau concerning the debt relief order,which is similar to voluntary bankruptcy,which we need to have put in place so that we can have some breathing space from our creditors. It is not an ideal situation,but it is necessary,as we are in a very precarious position financially,and will remain so until we hear from the disability people one way or another,if they grant me disability,then perhaps we will be able to eat a little more healthier,if they don't,then I just don't know what our next move will be,we can only pray,as we continue to do daily,and trust in God,so,until next time journal,may His peace and love sustain us for another day.