Wednesday
I met my new counselor last night. The first words out of her mouth were her telling me that cognitive behavior therapy along with medication proves highly effective. And she gave me a list of pychiatrist who would prescribe the drugs. I told her I really didnt want meds-they make me feel sick and do little to improve my mood. I just want coping tools. I dont want to rely on pills. Its frustrating.
Roomie continue to deal with his depression. It almost makes me just want to stay here and take care of him but...ive been taking care of people my whole life and long just to worry about myself for a change. I feel selfish saying that. I believe Mercury Retrogrades today so its best to just ride this wave until its over. Ive got 2 doctors appts coming up and i dont know how my employer will react to me taking off. But...ive got to make it to these appts.
Im just a mess right now. Sigh....
Replies
In my strictly personal herstory, good help feels incredibly good to both the giver and the receiver. Everybody wins in equal proportions. I am utterly convinced the best help is selfishly given. If I am hurting myself in the process of helping, my good intentions are probably paving a road to hell for the person I am attempting to help in addition to my own, strictly personal road to hell.
It's okay to love yourself enough to take care of you. Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
Hope healing happens here.
A Tom Waits song I like for the days I am beating myself up, in case you are interested. Just sharing. . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GugzLSbOQE
Put yourself first and stop giving your power away to others. You need to take care of yourself first. That doesn't mean you can't help him to help himself. Do what you can to put him on the right path. You see the problem is when you do alot of stuf for another person, they get use to it and want you to do those things for them all the time.
I am very proud of you for choosing to deal with your feelings in other ways instead of relying on drugs! That decision will benefit you in the long run.
Meditation works great for depression. I highly recommend it.