Wedding & Weekend

Came back from my nephew's wedding tonight.  It was 2 hours away, so I stayed at a hotel in the city.  The wedding was so sweet, and they are so much in love.  It was held in a small church on a site that has an Acadian village around it.  The reception was in somewhat of a barn type building.  Live band, buffet, family; should have been a happy time.  I wasn't miserable, but I felt so alone, in a room full of people.  I was back at my room by 10, read a book, and went to sleep.  I did have a nice brunch, with my sister and her husband. 
I need to change my life.  I was there at the wedding, watching the couples, and you can tell who is truely happy and those who just put up with one another.  If my husband would have been alive, the evening wouldn't have been too much different.  He didn't like to dance too much, and was not too socilable.  I myself, became more like him over the years, and it became clear at the wedding.  Both my sisters are very social, have loads of friends, and are both married.  I only had my husband.  Now, I have to make myself do things, for myself. I asked one of my sisters if she wants to take dance lessons with me.  Even if she doesn't, I still will go.  I know it will be scary, but if this is what I have to look forward to, the rest of my life,  this loneliness, I will lose my mind.
I'm trying to be more and more friendly with people.  My husband was always so insecure, and wanted me to himself, I think I shyed away from being friendly to people.
It's a process, I know, but I have nothing but time anyway.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

You might have been writing about Joe and me. Both you and me seem to have lost bits and pieces of ourselves, now we have a chance to pick some of them back up,discard the ones that no longer work, and create new ones to fill in puzzle of what our new lives will be. It is indeed a lonely, frightening, adventure. Have Faith and May You Enjoy the Journey!Hugs&Prayer-Pam
deleted_user
deleted_user

It is hard going from being an \"us\" to being just \"me\". It is a good plan you have - get out, socialize and find you again. Best of luck

Loran
doyew
doyew

You will be glad you took dance lessons; you will enjoy life much more if you become more sociable and make some friends. Good luck with the \"new you\" !
deleted_user
deleted_user

We are all reinventing ourselves now that our spouses have passed. Good for you for taking the next \"step\"... sorry for the pun.
Linda
lovelos
lovelos

I know it is hard but I think you are doing the right thing. Taking dance lessons would be a good start. My husband and I were very much the same. We did everything together. I think that is why we are having such a hard time trying to figure out where we go from here. Thinking of you, Lu Ann
prtlycloudy
prtlycloudy

I keep asking myself over and over....what do you want to be when you grow up? The possibilities are endless, but so hard to even think about one thing!
Good for you and keep us posted on your lessons!
Kate
swindy
swindy

My husband and I did everything together too but I am a very social person so I have no trouble getting out and doing things. You will gain a lot of confidence if you take dance lessons and possibly make some new friends. Go for it. Diane
AlwaysDix
AlwaysDix

Dick & I did everything together. We both loved people & felt at ease with others, It\'s just that we had so much to to here & the days were long working. Then too he was gone 3 days a week for about 20 of our 30 years together. Then Mom filled in & it was our turn to do things together. Now they are both gone. I think I will do better if I ever get this place ready, sold & I move up to Mom\'s house. I will enjoy fixing her yard up. I let it go to pot once she passed & Dick got so sick. Please do let us know how the lessons go. I\'m just not ready to let another man hold me. Even on the dance floor. I best find another social event. You\'re blessed with sisters! Enjoy! And let us know how your first lesson goes!!! Hugs, Val
TimLovesMelissa
TimLovesMelissa

OK, I\'m a little late on my reply! Take those dance lessons. Get out there and learn some new things! I\'ve been thinking about that myself.