Wedding day
I explained to my hubby that the reason I am standoffish with his son and the babies and pregnancy thing and the wedding is because it makes me too depressed. I will never see Jeff get married. Never see his pregnant wife. Never so many things. I am jeolous that I have to watch Michael and his son have these wonderful times together when everything I wanted for my son is shattered. It took me a long time to come to this conclusion. I just thought I was a bitch and didn't like them. In 10 hours they will be getting married and I am expected to go and be happy about it. I'd rather drive nails through my teeth.
Replies
With you... just hope you can make it and let us know how you are feeling. I\'m so sorry Colleen. For me, it\'s a feeling of being cheated out of all these wonderful things that we hoped for with our own children. I think expressing it is a huge step and then it doesn\'t stay hidden where it can drive us crazy; and you were able to do just that. Bless you on this difficult day. Hugs, Joanie
I understand how you feel. Its been three years since my son and I attended a wedding. My mind was racing. Your words were my thoughts that day.I remember as we wre leaving the church heading to the reception I missed the whole ceremony......My prayers are with you....Hugs, Pat
We are with you and support you today. Hugs Wendy
I can understand what you are going through. We all are angry about the things we will never get to see. Maybe you can write a letter to them, even if you don\'t give it to them and tell them that it has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with your loss. When I was 18, I lost my first daughter shortly after she was born. My sister in law was also pregnant and when her son was born, her third, I hated thinking about her having her baby when my was gone. When I realized what was going on, I wrote her a letter and had my sister give it to her. I told her that I was hurt by what might have been. She was touched by the letter. It took me a while to not feel that way. But eventually I did. Try to put on that happy face and if you can\'t feign sudden illness.
Good luck. hugs j
In 1983 I was expecting my 3rd child, a girl - the pregnancy was diff than Dana & Shaun. She was in breech position. My then husbands sister was pregnant with her first child - due soon after mine. I lost my daughter to ignorance of the hospital that I was in and the doctor treating me. Of course I grieved, but I almost died - and I was lucky to live to go home to Dana & Shaun. When my SIL had her daughter - it was akward for her to be around me - I can\'t say I was jealous, God took my little girl for some reason even though she would have survived if the doctor had been there when needed. I grieved, and moved on - it\'s hard - I was happy for my SIL - and my new niece - so try to turn your thoughts of negativity although it will be tough, to find happiness for them - instead of driving nails through your teeth, honestly Coll, I don\'t know of any dentist who will be around on a holiday weekend to fix that - let your mind rest, find peace - if it truly bothers you at such a level, just stay away - my heart and friendship is with you - bless ya - always
I know how you are you are you feeling and this is a safe place for you to express those feelings. I too feel so cheated that i will never dance at Mark\'s wedding, hold his child in my arms, see him grow older. It is hard not to be bitter at the cards life has handed us. Hang in there. Sandi
I\'m sure you will go and no one but us will be any the wiser as to how you really feel. Sometimes we just have to suck it up and behave as expected. You will do this. Love and hugs Cathy
Even though we are so sad that our angels will not get to experience the things you mentioned...we can still be happy for others...I hope that you will be able to make it through the day...even though it is another one of the hard things we have to do...love to you...Karen
So difficult! Being alone with my only remaining child about 5 states away, it is easy for me to say that I wish I just had a hubby and welcoming a new baby, my flesh and blood or not. I guess it is all a matter of perspective. At this point in my very lonely life, I would welcome your problem. It is not your husband\'s fault, nor his son\'s that you will not have these dreams come true for Jeff. I pray that you make it graciously through these days. Love,B
I\'m sorry to say, but in a way, I feel relieved that you have feelings of jealously. I always think I\'m selfish and self centered for having those thoughts. Jealously rears it\'s ugly head in my life frequently. I hate it. I try and try to rid my life from it but it\'s definitely a vice I must work on. I know deep down I dont want anyone else to suffer as I have, so somehow I do find a way to truly be happy for others and their blessings. I have a great many things to be thankful for, but that \"green headed monster\" sometimes keeps me from realizing this to it\'s full potential. Love to you. Robin