Wedding Anniversary
Today, March 25th 2011, is a double milestone for me. This is the 11 month mark since Melissa died, but that pales in comparison to it being my 16th wedding anniversary. I married a special woman on that day, and I will never forget it. I can still remember so many little details of that day. It was raining/storming a little bit, and we had all our friends and family at her parent’s house for the ceremony. I remember how beautiful she looked, and how big her eyes were as we were saying our vows. She had been ill, and I had always joked with her that her eyes looked like that because she was on cold medicine that day. Little did I know what I was getting myself into that day (ha ha)! Her bouquet had roses and gardenias in it. For many years after that, I would get here gardenias for our anniversary. We loved the way they smelled. Last year, I couldn’t get a plant, so I got a gardenia scented candle instead. It doesn’t smell much like the real thing, but I lit it today in her honor.
We honeymooned in Albuquerque, in a great little Bed and Breakfast on the side of a mountain. We went to several places, and did so many things in those few days. She planned most of the activities, but what made it really special was having her by my side, sharing it all. We bought a bottle of wine from a local vineyard, and I kept the empty bottle as a souvenir. I started saving dimes in the bottle, in hopes that I would have enough to at least partially fund a return trip for our 10th anniversary. Unfortunately, life got in the way and we were never able to make that trip. I never forgot about it, and was hoping that we could go back for our 20th. That dream died last year with Melissa. I still feel a strong need to go back though. I guess you could say it would almost be like confronting a ghost. I really don’t know if I would be strong enough to do it right now, but I am in no hurry to face it. I have time, but I just have a feeling like it is something that I must do.
All in all, today was not a bad day. The anticipation always seems worse than the actual day, but I was expecting that. Thing is, even though I was aware of it, I could not stop myself from getting emotional or having mood swings this past week. I guess the heart is going to do what it wants to do. Now it is time to move past this “first”, and set my sights on the next big one, the anniversary of her death. Gotta keep moving, and learning…
Thank you all for your support!
We honeymooned in Albuquerque, in a great little Bed and Breakfast on the side of a mountain. We went to several places, and did so many things in those few days. She planned most of the activities, but what made it really special was having her by my side, sharing it all. We bought a bottle of wine from a local vineyard, and I kept the empty bottle as a souvenir. I started saving dimes in the bottle, in hopes that I would have enough to at least partially fund a return trip for our 10th anniversary. Unfortunately, life got in the way and we were never able to make that trip. I never forgot about it, and was hoping that we could go back for our 20th. That dream died last year with Melissa. I still feel a strong need to go back though. I guess you could say it would almost be like confronting a ghost. I really don’t know if I would be strong enough to do it right now, but I am in no hurry to face it. I have time, but I just have a feeling like it is something that I must do.
All in all, today was not a bad day. The anticipation always seems worse than the actual day, but I was expecting that. Thing is, even though I was aware of it, I could not stop myself from getting emotional or having mood swings this past week. I guess the heart is going to do what it wants to do. Now it is time to move past this “first”, and set my sights on the next big one, the anniversary of her death. Gotta keep moving, and learning…
Thank you all for your support!
Replies
Tim,
What a great picture! Melissa is absolutely beaming and I\'m sure you were, too. I think you have a very healthy attitude and approach....celebrating the special moments that will always be a part of your story and being patient with yourself as you adjust to the changes in your life. You and Miles and Mason are in my thoughts today and in the month to come.
CJ
Beautiful pic! You have a great attitude and you are so right ~~ the anticipation of special days usually is worse than the actual day itself. Remembering those wonderful times is bittersweet, I know, but, also great that you have the memories.
Thinking about you and your sons.
Hugs, Joely
Tim,
I\'m sending you hugs and warm thoughts on this day. Melissa was a beautiful bride and I\'m sure an even more beautiful wife.
Linda
Tim,
What a wonderful picture and you should be very proud as she was a beautiful bride. I also am coming up on our wedding anniversary and also the one year date of loosing Kallene on June 3rd. We will make it through it all some how and there will be brighter days to come.
Take care
Dan