Wedding Day

Jeanne the day that you and I look forward to has arrived. Greg and Jill will be getting married on Friday.  I pray that they have as happy and as long as a marriage as we had hopefully much longer.  This week I have felt the best that I have since before your diagnosis.  On a side note you probably already know this but John Tombarello died this week. I guess I am kind of jealous because now he and Claire are back together again.  I will probably go to the funeral tomorrow if it is not too much for me. 
I can not get our conversation out of my  mind that you felt and decided that you should die in February to give us a chance to heal before the wedding.  Once again I have to agree that you were right. we all think of you everyday but the pain for most of us is manageable.  I myself have had a fantastic week I have been happy, laughing  and light of heart.  I do not feel guilty that I am experiencing some happiness because I know you are sharing it with me just like you shared all of my tears.  However when I am alone I have outbreaks of crying and grief. Friday will start off with a Mass for you to remember you on this most sacred day for our son and daughter -in-law.  I am looking forward to celebrating but I will miss you terribly by my side. Don't worry I am going to celebrate and be happy and when I know that I am going to have an outbreak I will leave so not to disturb anyone.  I wil have your locket with your picture with me the one that I wil buried with the day that you and I are together once again.  I have been told that Jill has something to say that you have written as a toast to the Bride and Groom.  I can't wait to hear your words once again but I dread it at the same time. If by any chance you could stand next to me while she says your toast I really would appreciate it.  I miss you terribly every second of every day but I am managing to get through it and I know that I am making you proud.  I Love You FOREVER.