Wed Part 2
I received a text message from Joe. Yesterday was his birthday and I knew that he was having a big party. He told me "You won the bet, Ive been in the hospital with alcohol poisoning most of my birthday".
I told him I never had a bet and that the reason why I left was because I can't stand to see him slowly kill himself. I couldn't marry him and watch that for the rest of our lives together.
I told him I hoped he felt better and if there was anything I could do to let me know. I'm not offering to return though-he needs to get help.
I'm glad he is ok. Ill keep moving forward without him.
Replies
What happened to shutting down communication so you can grieve and heal?
Hadn't gotten that far yet. Still at work-was going to do it after my counseling session this evening.
It just may be important to really do no contact with him specifically. He’s quite passive aggressive and manipulative.
You see, this is what alcoholics do. They blame their drinking on everyone except themselves. Just remember sage, ...You are not a part of his problem. You never were and you will never be. Only he can help himself. Nobody can do it for him. Eventually, he might get help or he might not and he might die from his disease like 58,000 alcoholics do every year in the USA alone.. No matter what he does or doesn't do, it's NOT your fault! Do NOT, feel guilty over it. Ok, my friend? Hugs!
It's so true. They often blame everyone for everything. I mean, a lot non alcoholics do that too but it's a hallmark of behavior for a lot of alcoholics. Trying to rationalize with them is pointless too. Since they're not accountable and lie to themselves all day long, they will deflect and twist things around. From my own experience that once I stopped engaging and defending myself with the alcoholics in my life, I felt much more in control and grounded. Not reacting IS power.
Your right-trying not to react. Better to keep distance. But-it hurts just the same.
Yes it still hurts. But continuing to engage just keeps that wound fresh.
Yes it does