Wed
Yesterday I sent a email with a timeline of how things have played out to yet another property manager which the original passed me to. But, this time I copied the County Inspector in the email.
If this puts a thought into his mind and makes the other party sweat a little than so be it. I didnt work this hard to live in a roach infested apartment.
I stopped having conversation with my boss. I just go to work and do the work and leave. I'm not angry anymore, I just dont care. As I use to be such a people pleaser, I am done doing backflips for people.
As for my brother, since he has met this other woman and not even divorced yet, he has stopped calling and talking about probating the house. I sent him a text message telling him he could have the entire house and also the responsibility of probating It. Hes just another person that has proved he only calls when he needs something.
I wrote another email to my daughter telling her to simply have a nice life. I won't be wasting my energy anymore sending her weekly emails that go unanswered.
Do I sound angry?
Replies
Is that a rhetorical question?
Yes, you sound angry enough to be in need of anger channeling exercises. Inside my personal skin, repressed anger, rational or knot, accumulates and turns volcanic long before it dissipates on its own.
I think it’s ok to feel angry. I think anger can sometimes be a good motivator for change. So yes, channeling it. I think the other stuff like No longer talking to your boss, sending an email to your daughter to tell her to have a nice life and the texting your brother is the by product of anger. Those kinds of things to me are kind of passive/ aggressive. Not judging but just from how I view the silent treatment, addressing conflict indirectly, etc.
I’ve done that a time or two In the past and I know why I do it. It’s because I’m hurt or angry, or feel out of control. It temporarily relieves the hurt or gives a feeling of finding control.
Yes-maybe a bit passive aggressive. I have tried addressing these concerns with brother/daughter-it all seems to stay open ended.
Maybe I just felt this was ending it for me and throwing it back on them. Why am I suppose to except a roach infested apartment, a daughter and brother who ghost me with a smile on my face?
Knowing my anger over being born into child prostitution was/is fully justified didn't/doesn't do much to keep that fully justified anger from eating holes into my soul and distorting my thought processes into frantic psychoses(pl). Anger and resentment are like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Anger channeling helps me release the anger and regain my personal power and clarity. Releasing old anger and resentment doesn't put me in compliance with continuation of the cycle. It makes me all the more focused on how to prevent renewed rounds of those family/cultural traditions.