We've been Burying too many babies.
I wish I could allow myself to get pregnant. But reading all these posts by Angel moms who have lost their rainbows recently has terrified me to the pit of my stomach. I can't even imagine what they're going through, losing Sophia killed a big part of my heart, I was sure that I was going to die. I couldn't imagine doing that again, EVER. Maybe it's worth it though, to one day bring home a screaming healthy happy baby instead of a pamphlet of funeral homes. I'm sure lots of moms have thought that and instead have lost multiple babies. Maybe theyre braver than me. Hell, they are alot braver than me. I'm a chickenshit. But I can't help it, I can't bury another child.
Hugs and prayers to all you brave moms who had the guts to try again, whether or not you lost your rainbows, you're all amazing and strong and alot braver than I am.
Hugs and prayers to all you brave moms who had the guts to try again, whether or not you lost your rainbows, you're all amazing and strong and alot braver than I am.
Replies
:) thanks mama! I have been staying away from ds lately after losing my rainbow, but got an alert on my phone and decided to read your journal. It sucks to keep losing babies. I\'m glad I wasn\'t too far along, but it still hurts and is very disappointing. But I will try again. I long for a living baby and I will keep trying til I get one! Is that selfish? If it is then I\'m sorry, but I have to keep going. Hugs hunny!
I know exactly what you mean. Having lost a rainbow, i just don\'t know if I\'m strong enough to go thru that pain again. I don\'t even know if enough of my heart is left to be a good mommy for a living child
Yes, we are. Honestly, if I weren\'t pregnant now, I think I would be too scared to try again, too. I am terrified as it is. So far, all is well, but I have to take it one day at a time... And I try to be there to support others who need me.
I don\'t know that I\'ll ever heal from losing Skyler. I wanted another so badly, like kayleesmommy, and wanted to try and try until it happened... but I\'m changing. This is it for me. I\'m not as brave or strong as those who are losing rainbows, and I hope with all I have that I don\'t join them.
I wish I could give some comfort... I wish I could say go ahead, you\'ll have a baby next time!... I wish I could promise a crying baby...
First I\'m going to say something I\'m sorry if it stings but Don\'t you dare call yourself a chicken. Your as strong as anyone of us. Yes some have lost more then one baby or rainbow baby however each loss no matter how many no matter how far along you were it all counts.Some people say things that offend other\'s some people have the nack to say just the right thing at the right time. Your a strong, wonderfull, beautifull women please remember that.
I wanted to add I\'ve been there with my twins, daughter and 10 miscarriages. I know people say I\'m brave but I refuse to give up on my dream until my body tells me to. Don\'t get me wrong its hasn\'t been easy at all and have recieved plenty of counseling for it by myself as well as marriage counseling. We are all here for you not matter what you decide to do with that part of your life but please try not to live your life in fear of the unknown.
I understand how you are feeling but I can not imagine missing my Blessing due to fear. None of us planned on being here, but we are and it is up to us to make the best or the worst out of this situation.
I have chosen to arm myself with information and pass on whatever I learn to others. I will not live in fear. I want another baby, not to replace Annaya but to fill a void.
I think with time you will change your mind.
Hugs!!!
N.