We talked alot...
...this past weekend. It think its the most we have talked in a long long time.
My ex boyfriend reached out to me this past Saturday. After not talking to me for two weeks, and then me finally throwing it the towel and saying, "I'm done" a week ago. He sent me a text, that he was an ASS and everything he sees, touches and listens to reminds him of me. I didnt respond, because I didnt know how to. But he continues to text, that he effed up, and doesnt know what to do, and asked if he could call me.
It was a conversation that lasted three hours. My poor daughter was waiting on me to help her with something, and I felt bad, but I think it was a conversation we needed to have. To rip the band aid off, to air out hurt feelings and misunderstandings. We argued with each other, explained needs and wants, talked about what we had been up to in the past few weeks, even laughed a little. (Everytime he does me wrong, it always seems some weird karma comes and bites him - this time he was covered from head to toe in poison ivy - even in his nether regions.)
He told me he wanted a chance to prove that he could be the boyfriend I needed him to be, that me leaving was the wake up call that he needed (because he never thought I would leave) - which made it easier for him to do all the bull shit he has done because I have put up with it and he thought I always would.
I told him that I wasnt ready to rush back into a relationship with him, that I didnt trust him not to go back to his old ways and I didnt want to mend fences only to be taken down the same road again. He understood, and said he couldnt guarantee perfection, but he would try as hard as he could because he wanted my daughter and myself in his life. That he is just a shell without us.
So... at this point we are on speaking terms and talking. We arent back together but trying to be friends again (which was something we lost in the relationship). I dont know where this road is going to lead, but I guess it will be up to him.
I am very scared and told him I am going to be very guarded for a while, and he told me he understood but he wanted to get us back to where we used to be. We talked again on Sunday for another hour. We are great as friends, and I would like us to be able to be more... but I think friends is all he can handle right now and after what this relationship has put me through, I think its all I can handle at the moment too.
My ex boyfriend reached out to me this past Saturday. After not talking to me for two weeks, and then me finally throwing it the towel and saying, "I'm done" a week ago. He sent me a text, that he was an ASS and everything he sees, touches and listens to reminds him of me. I didnt respond, because I didnt know how to. But he continues to text, that he effed up, and doesnt know what to do, and asked if he could call me.
It was a conversation that lasted three hours. My poor daughter was waiting on me to help her with something, and I felt bad, but I think it was a conversation we needed to have. To rip the band aid off, to air out hurt feelings and misunderstandings. We argued with each other, explained needs and wants, talked about what we had been up to in the past few weeks, even laughed a little. (Everytime he does me wrong, it always seems some weird karma comes and bites him - this time he was covered from head to toe in poison ivy - even in his nether regions.)
He told me he wanted a chance to prove that he could be the boyfriend I needed him to be, that me leaving was the wake up call that he needed (because he never thought I would leave) - which made it easier for him to do all the bull shit he has done because I have put up with it and he thought I always would.
I told him that I wasnt ready to rush back into a relationship with him, that I didnt trust him not to go back to his old ways and I didnt want to mend fences only to be taken down the same road again. He understood, and said he couldnt guarantee perfection, but he would try as hard as he could because he wanted my daughter and myself in his life. That he is just a shell without us.
So... at this point we are on speaking terms and talking. We arent back together but trying to be friends again (which was something we lost in the relationship). I dont know where this road is going to lead, but I guess it will be up to him.
I am very scared and told him I am going to be very guarded for a while, and he told me he understood but he wanted to get us back to where we used to be. We talked again on Sunday for another hour. We are great as friends, and I would like us to be able to be more... but I think friends is all he can handle right now and after what this relationship has put me through, I think its all I can handle at the moment too.
Replies
I think its smart of you to keep your guard up, Spirit. I think unless the old issues are re-visited and rectified, along with each persons issues as well...the past is sure to repeat itself. I understand the being great friends thing too. I think that is a huge part of what I miss about my ex right now. I hope you two are able to approach your friendship in a healthy manner and if it works out from there...wonderful. And there\'s nothing wrong with baby steps too.
I\'m glad you\'re feeling better! Very smart to not go running back to him. If you are considering taking him back, I\'d recommend waiting at least three months and observe his behavior...because whatever he gives you over the next three months as your \"friend\" is the very best he has to give you...if he becomes a jerk or an absentee \"friend\" during that time, you\'ll know you made the right decision breaking it off. He shared the secret truth of men with you...men will only behave as badly as women allow them to.