We have a place to go!!

God is so good!  I had to update all you sweet ladies to let you know that after a roller coaster ride from Hades, our church has helped us rent a house for 6 months, so Lily can get here safely!!!  PRAISE GOD!!!!  If Jason doesn't have a job by then, we are back to homeless and probably going to be committed anyway.  lol 
As far as our mortgage company, I can only say they will be financing Casey Anthony's little patch of hell when she gets there, because they are pure evil, too. From stories about Citimortgage that I have heard since, we are very very lucky!  They have been far better to us (in their unscrupulous evil actions) than they have been to other people.
We have applied for every program out there and always get rejected for one stupid unrelated detail after another.  The last one (which was supposed to help ALL unemployed people save their homes) disqualified us because my husband made a lot of money in 2009.  Uh...yeah.. What in the heck does that have to do with 2010, when he lost his job?  Or the $50k in medical we paid that year?  Hello?!?  Morons.  LOL 
The important thing is that we can move now...and Lily will have a home to come home to. 
Of course I am on strict bed rest and could not go "house hunting" with DH & the girls after our church offered to help.  They picked this house based on the willingness of the owner to rent to us (hard to find in our situation) and based on comparing it to the other options available to us.  I decided to trade my OB appointment tomorrow for a chance to see the house we are moving to and when I was inside for about 2 mins, my eyes started swelling, itching, watering like faucets and my throat started closing...I broke out in hives.  There is only one thing that does that to me...cigarette smoke.  I stepped back outside and asked my husband what I had already asked several times...was there ANY indication the house had been smoked in?  (In the entry way, there was no smell).  He said "Only in the garage."  Nice.  So, I went back in when symptoms subsided and downstairs DOES smell heavily of smoke (that is where the garage entrance is, but the door had been closed for days).  Of course, I was instantly overcome with allergic reaction again and had to leave.
So, we are moving to a house that will make me feel miserable physically.  The homeowner had already painted the house and steam cleaned the carpets.  DH is there now trying white vinegar tricks and other things he looked up online.  I wanted to bludgeon him for withholding the information that the garage had been smoked in...that would be a major issue for my allergies....and I don't think it was just the garage.  Tenants must have lied. 
A friend said that maybe I am just sensitive to smells because of pregnancy, sure...but does that make my tell-tale reaction to cigarette smoke any different?!?  LOL  I will still be gasping for air & covered in hives! I am on so many meds already to try to keep Lily inside me...I don't want to add allergy medications.  Grrr.
So, that leads me to why I have spent today crying nonstop.  It is my birthday.  This is my 5th one without a word from my oldest son.  My youngest son is in Heaven.  A week from today, my son turns 22, and he will ignore the cards we send him, except to probably utter a curse about us as he tosses them in the garbage.   I can't help our family move. I can't clean the house we are moving to or line the shelves or do anything I would normally do. 
I know..."me, myself and I"...this sounds horribly selfish.  I'm sorry.  It just feels like a ton of bricks right now.  We have lost things that matter (children) and things that shouldn't (our home, car, family heirlooms), and things that don't (household helpful belongings).  I know that God is in control.  I am so SO SO SO GRATEFUL that He provided us with a place to go...and who knows?  Maybe we will get to keep our house eventually, if they develop a program for people like us...who used to make good money...and kept their mortgage current...and got blindsided with medical problems out the wazoo and the first ever experience of unemployment.  I am just going to try to take it one minute at a time. 
My blessings:  DH and my children...I am grateful for every minute I have with them (or HAD with them), and will always long for more minutes with them.  Our church who generously offered to help us find a home.  The fact that we now have a home to go to and to bring Lily home to..God willing.  My furry boys...who get to stay with us. All of you DS ladies who sent hugs, and messages, and texts and kept us in your prayers!!! 
Thank you for all of your love and support!