We Get What We Need
As I am often reminded, we don't always get what we want, but, we get what we need. When I first came back on here it took me back to some old times and kind friends. I was also happy to run across a new one or two as well. I did find myself checking in often and hoping to come across others. Naturally that did dwindle down. I even spent time on the fun groups engaging in some useless trivia and bantor, but even those die down.
So I guess I am again reminded I need to step out of my comfort zone and actually get out amongst real people. I have reached out and spoken with both sister in laws and a goor friend I grew up with. I am also getting together with an old schoolmate but I had to push it back til mid September because of work schedules.
I do have to laugh (and worry) about my being too gullible and trusting before daring to venture out or amogst men though. The brief time I was back here I would feel responsible to friend someone who I knew nothing about . I questioned his age and why he would want to friend me but assumed it was just because I happened to be one who was around right now. I did check and he was on depression site so I accepted. Suddenly some quick playful bantor and then I did respond back jokingly but not with response he wanted I guess. Next day he is quiet and I just checked to see if all was ok but he no longer exists. I think the only way I will ever meet or go out with someone is if we know each other first. I tend to be too open and trusting and don't want to get caught up in an unhealthy codependent relationship again.
I need to remember to first be content in my own shoes. (Just gets a little lonely sometimes because there is so much I want to share.) But I'm going to keep on muddling through. If I find no greater love, I continue to find joy in simple things like touching others lives with a simple acknowledgement, smile or laugh. My problem is I was never allowed my own thoughts or opinions but instead was always made to look for others to tell me if I was right or wrong. Guess it's time I think for myself.
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I don't take any friend requests as something huge or personal really. I accept most of them but I don't see them as real friends. I've made a few online friends on this site as time has gone by. I've even emailed back and forth with a few of these DS friends. But honestly, like you said, we don't know these people for real. And I've found that even emailing to my home email and their home email, well you find out more about them and you might not be friends in real life. I guess I am more picky these days than in the past and I look back at some rocky or strange friendships where I had my head in the sand about this person and I don't want to do that any longer.
All we can do is keep looking for small joys each day and muddling through. Like anyone, I sometimes feel lonely or sad. I am trying to hold to my own opinions and having internal boundaries for once. Kind of like what you said. We find we have to change to create a happier life I guess I would call it.
And lately, people have been angry or nutty in my real life and I think I came here to escape this. My bookclub almost blew up and maybe still will over the email secretary deciding she owned us all and was boss. I am giving it to the end of the year and looking for another one. The problem is, this group has been my favorite bookclub of all time but it is slowly dying and the other members do not want to open it up to "strangers" -- too scary or something to have new blood.
What hasty_05 said is pretty much what I would have said but couldn't find the right words. Making new friends is hard but keeping them can be even harder....hugs
I took a risk it turned out ok...I met someone that made me laugh.....so she turned out to be a super fat lady with long blonde hair.....her saving grace was I like long hair.....also we had a need because in the year of the country shut down.....and other than that I did not try to take advantage of wealth that she has.....we are still friends but it did not work romantically.....but I consider it a chance I took....was it worth the risk? I guess because I had a very good time being with her and went places where her family got together for parties....I would do anything to help her have a great life but I am not going to be her boytoy....
It’s good to see you taking steps to reconnect and meet new people. Trust your instincts and take things at your own pace to stay safe. Finding happiness in simple things and being true to yourself is key. Nothing beats real life interactions and slowly building that trust.
I've made several friends here who have become friends "in real life." However, I've been on the site for years, and it takes time to establish true friendships. While it's super important to be cautious, don't give up! Glad you're back! Hugs.
Yeah gotta take it slow and steady get to know people online at a slow pace it can lead to good friendships I’ve had that happen in the past. But can’t be all in 100 percent right away gotta guard yourself I know that can be so hard especially when you feel lonely.
Thanks everyone.