We are more than our

Have you experienced sexual assault and as a result lost the realization of who you are? You have? Same. To be honest growing up, I struggled with trying to figure out where I fit in. BUT it wasn’t until after experiencing sexual assaults that I completely lost what had so far learned about who I was. I lost interest in my love for dance, and music etc. 

One thing that really was eye opening to me though in regards to how the assaults  affected me was my last trip to Disney World. I’m a Disney fan even at the age of 24 I still love Disney and cherish the memories that I had as a child. With that being said in the later part of 2017 after the assaults happened, I took a vacation with my family to Disney World. During this vacation I was not the same. I was emotionally unstable, crying and becoming upset easily.One minute I’m happy and the next minute I’m down. 

Even though I wore my mask and didn’t let my family see how I was feeling, I knew that the assaults impacted me more than I thought; I mean I was at my happy place physically Disney world and still went through those emotions. After that I started to hide myself in my childhood, literally. I immersed myself thinking about my childhood, watching all my childhood movies and listening to my favorite childhood songs. I was trying to hide in a fantasy and go back to a comfort I knew I had felt in my childhood. I was trying to run from the pain and the hurt in my reality. 

This is just one example of many regarding how I tried to cope after experiencing sexual assault. I lost myself and was in denial of my reality. Of course I’m still a Disney fan, but I realized whatever it is whether it’s dance, music, disney, a boyfriend, family etc. it cannot replace the role Jesus has in my life. In regards to who I am, the only validation I need is from God. Nothing and no one can define me the way God can. So here’s a reminder for you; you are loved, you are precious, you are priceless, you are amazing, you are special and so much more. There is a purpose for your life,and with God you are stronger than your circumstances. Have a goodnight everyone, if you need someone to talk to, tips, or encouragement I'm always here!