Way Ups & Way Downs

Well the 1st step on hubbies repeated road with the prostate thing has been done.  He had the biopsy Thurs afternoon.  The dr's office will call us in abt 3 wks.  In the mean time they are contacting the cancer clinic dr with the recommendation that two other tests shd be done, one being a bone scan & can't remember the other now.  The reason being of course to see if there's anything there that has spread elsewhere.
I have moments where I feel super strong, together, under control, focusing on prayer & faith.  Yet in the blink of an eye there's that old evil negative & all it's trimmings that come knocking.  Some moments it feels like it takes all my strength to slam lifes door in his face.
I'm so so so trying to keep only a positive aura around us & to put positive out to the universe but boy it gets hard sometimes.  I guess right at this moment I felt I all of a sudden needed to get something down in print so here I am.
Lupus wise I'm holding my own but then again I'm still not quite off prednisone (maybe by the end of July) & I'm still on methotrexate so I can't honestly say whats what.  I know I've upped the appointments with my reflexologist to every 2nd week as I feel her ability to keep my whole persona well balanced could be crucial right now.
Anywho I guess thats abt it.  I just felt the need to get some thoughts down in print.  I could swear(not really) that there was something else I wanted to include here but for the life of me it escapes me so I guess I'll sign off for now.