Wave of Emotions
I am in such a bad place right now. I am stuck living with my ex and he brought someone home the other night to have sex with. I was devastated. I cried, I screamed, I just hate myself at times. It just truly ripped me apart. Now everyday since than I just have waves of pain going through me. I just need someone to tell me it will be okay.
Replies
A few months ago I was in a horrible place. I had broken up with my boyfriend of three years, we were stuck in a lease, and he had just brought some guy over and slept with him while I was home. Not to mention the guy worked in my same building. At that point I tried to commit suicide I was even committed to a psychiatric ward for a day. I hated myself, my body, my job, my existence. Everything I did reminded me of my ex or the guy he brought over. I obsessed over it. I couldn\'t function. i had spiraled out of control.
Here it is a few months later and I feel so much better. I don\'t cry anymore for no reason. I quit my job and found a better job. I have learned to get along with my ex. Our lease is up in a few weeks and we are parting ways on good terms. I\'ve been dating and setting some standards for myself in the dating department. I have started to lean on the friends that I have. I do feel down some days but for the most part I am happier than I have ever been in my life.
Please for anyone who is feeling down and in the dumps like i was I understand your pain and it does get better. You just have to know that no matter how you look, no matter what position you are in, no matter the heartache and the pain there is a rainbow at the end. There are times when you are feeling BLUE, and times you feel GREEN and envious of other people, and RED with you are angry, PURPLE when you feel beat up and abused and YELLOW when you see just a little sun shine in. But all of those colors and all of those emotions make up a rainbow and if you don\'t go through them you can\'t get the prize.
I am still trying to accept myself. I stll feel that someones I am not as attractive as other men are. However at the end of the day I know that I have a purpose here and I need everyone else to feel that too. I just want people to know that you are not alone. Everything you go through there is a reason.