Watching the movie Revolutionary Road
with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in their first co-starring vehicle since their sinking ship effort, Titanic. Made me realize just how complex marriage and relationships are. External forces like work stress, coupled with boredom and lack of passion ntruded on what was once "love", and it became a horrible, attacking, hurting, demoralizing, dehumanizing experience. Never been married, but have been in love, and this story really took me to a dark place, made me realize my own fallibilities...my passion comes and goes...I try to surmount it with work and exercise...when I really, truly, deeply love someone, that feeling takes me to a very dark place within my own heart. Don't want to be the covetous, possessive type, but it happens. Something dark takes over, and, because I don't want to live in the darkness forever, I reach into the other person for light, and all it does is drag them into my darkness (or brings out HER darkness). I then feel guilty for that, withdraw, regroup, try to make up for the void by becoming aggressive, channel that passion into something (or someone) else and repeat the process. If I could just settle into the blackness and be content...it's just so dark there...
Replies
I don\'t think, in fact I know that I have never read a more honest account (and I know it is honest because I feel it from the words) of a man\'s inner struggle with himself and his state of relationships. Here is the \"good news\"...at least you have figured out the \"scenerios\" of what you do and what happens...now all you have to figure out is the \"whys.\"
I read your journal on the \"Golden Globes\", I too was moved by Spielberg\'s speech. It was amazing and I think captivated \"all\" of the audience. I have been to the \"Globes\" twice and because it is a table with food and drinks and you can actually \"relax\" it is a place where if it get\'s boring then you always have your table to converse with and you can get up and go from table to table...fun...fun... It has always been one of my favorite events to go to...plus the camera work was exceptional this year...don\'t you agree?
On a final note, I do not see you settling into the blackness and being content...and I know you are smart and interested in life enough for that not to become an option. I believed we discussed before how to do this ( I should have put this in a message but I am already here) Get a Reel, get the Hollwwood Reporter and Variety at the not so local news stand, check the ads for any independents. There are a lot in there, I have seen them. There is a publication called \"Production Weekly\" Google it up...this will be a gift to you as it show \"all\" of the productions here and abroad that are in production, out of production or in development. It also gives you the names of \"everyone\" producers, camermen, just everyone. Now here is the \"gift\"...it also tells you if it is a Union gig or an Independent. You do have to purchase the subscription and from what I can remember it is pricey but I guess you will decide what it is worth to you. How is that for a little \"light in your life?\" My parting thought is, as it now applies to me is, \"get busy living your life the way \"you\" want with enthusium and love...and all else will come\"...and Happy New Year...L
Wow, thanks, lala, for all the great leads!
The \"whys\"...wow, that\'s a good one. The whole reason I became obsessively involved with filmmaking as an amateur as a 9-year-old kid was because I needed an outlet for my rage, because kids were picking on me in school! When things are going GOOD, the passion to create something kinda fizzles...isn\'t that the way LOL? So make my life unpleasant and the beast emerges...good survival instinct, eh?
I think a lot of directors have a bit of a violent streak in them, so they get to vicariously live it out on film...agree? Scorcese\'s monologue in Taxi Driver, about what a .44 Magnum will do to a woman\'s p---y, is positively chilling...geeks and freaks get into the arts LOL.