Waste of Space

I feel like a waste of space.. I dont have a job yet, am wasting my parents money, have two cats, to take care of.. Whrn I get money I spend it on stupid things.. My friends have jobs and are in college or doing something great and worthwhile with their lives.. I like a by who likes me and break his heart., turn him down.. Not once, but twice.. Second one was special.. I am too ancious and scared to do anything. I'm chubby and too lazy to exercise.. To lazy to do,anything. I know I should, i  hate myself.. I feel like I'm wasting everyones time.. I think about self harming, but havnt yet., ive thought about dying, but then think about my cats and birds and sister and mom and friends.. I'm a fucking idiot..