Waste of Day

I know I am posting alot but I need somewhere to put my thoughts so pardon the ramble.  I'm terribly bored at work.  Im one of those types that need to be busy because I need to put my mind on other things.  I did manage to think my near future out though.  As soon as I'm rested I'm going to get that second job and start working toward something....anything to feel like I have something to look forward to whether it be a trip or whatever.  I need to get away if only 1 weekend a month, but, I need money to do so because as I am now paying half the rent and bills plus groceries and gas.   I need the extra or I think I might loose my marbles.

My roomie made a comment last night.  I told him I was feeling trapped and needed to get out occasionally.  He said "Ive never felt trapped because Ive always chosen to be alone".  Perhaps he is at peace with playing the same record everyday but I can assure you I am not.  I need variety, stimuli, conversation, new experiences.  Of course, I want to go about this the right way, so, they only thing I can think of is to go work at the diner down the road on weekends and save.  (That's if they will hire me as I have no experience) but, I was just there the other day and the young kids who work there can't have much either.  I have also come to the conclusion that I don't know what the "relationship" I'm in is.  Ive been married with kids for so long that I find myself divorced and  living with someone I barely talk to or spend time with other than in the house.  It's incredibly lonely.  This is why I should just be working.

I'm getting nothing out of this relationship at all.  I need to do something to change things.  Ill start with the second job.