Was not prepared to be single mom

I'm new to this site, but will throw my story out there for any pearls of wisdom that might come back my way.  I am facing the challenge of raising a very large family after an unexpected loss.  My husband died at home in May 2009 of a massive heart attack with no warning.  I am now a single mom to 5 children between 6 and 13 and have 3 older stepchildren who are also grieving the loss of their dad.  I have a busy career and wonderful co-workers who have been understanding when I have to juggle responsibilities, but I sometimes just want/need time to not be a mom and to focus on my own challenges in adjusting to this new reality. When those days come when I could use a good long cry, I find it is interupted by a soccer schedule or other deadline.  In addition, I feel like a social oddball because I'm not a bitter divorcee, am not desperately looking for a relationship, but sure miss having a guy's perspective and some grown-up conversation. Short of hiring a live-in nanny and hitting the dating scene, does anyone have more affordable and palatable options to suggest or things that have worked for you?