Was It A Sign?

Me and Kris were talking late one night on the phone...and we broke up! Kris told me he felt more like my brother then my boyfriend and he needed time to think things thro. and so i told him it was okay, that we would still be friends. but it hurt so much    he made me feel like dirt, and someone (trying to make me feel better maybe?) told me it didnt matter cuz he was cheating on me anyway. after a very hard night, Kris sent me a text saying "I couldn't sleep. all i could think about was you." (id asked him how he was) he told me he had been wrong, and he couldn't make it with out me. well, we got back together, but im starting to wonder. things are different now. we....act more careful around each other. i hope it wil just blow over, but it hurt do bad. but i don't want him to see how much he hurt me cuz it will make him mad at himself. he hurt me sooooo much, and i can't get it out of my mind. it hurt danm it! and i can't tell him :( if i do he wil be sooooo sad :( i can't tell him. but i need to tell someone. i need to cry on someone shoulder. but i have no friends i can do that with. and ive almost started to cry many times in front of Kris. im going out of town this weekend, so maybe that will help me some what. i hope it will. i need a break from the drama. but with my luck there will be some there too :/ no idea what to do....if he broke up with me once, whats stoppping him from doing it again??