warrants

So finally everything starts falling in to place.  The sick bastard is charged and then a warrant is issued.  I am excited and validated and anxious.  then around 4pm I find out that someone tipped off my husband.  The detective thinks it was the lady at his job.  No doubt, his new girlfriend or perhaps one that wanted to be his girlfriend, who knows, who cares, but he was tipped off and then he ran.  Now he is on the run, a fugitive from the law.  Hopefully his bail will go up.  I can't believe we've gotten this far.  Today marks the 6 month anniversary for all of this.  Wow.  6 months of hell finally I see the light at the end of the tunnel and then he runs.  Well, what did we all expect he would do?  I'm sitting with my phone waiting.  I wait and watch, and wait for it to ring, to make a sound, some sort of sign that shows it's working so when they finally call me with more news, I'll hear the phone.  I feel a little sick with the anxiety too.  Slowly I take deep breaths.  I wish i could light all my aromatherapy candles and then turn off all the lights.  I hate living in someone else's house.  I hope he gets caught soon or turns himself in.  I am scared for my daughter.  I am scared he may snap and try and kill her.  He must be so scared and completely desperate.  I should feel happy about that, but for some reason, I don't.  I feel sad.  I feel sad that he ended up being a child molester.  I feel sad that this is how our relationship ended when it had started out so beautiful.  I wonder if anything in life is really beautiful.  Is it?  Do you ever really know anybody?