Warm Sunshine
Good morning. This past week has found me having many emotional ups and downs. Resolution knowing that my now impending divorce is a true factor in my life. Realizing that now that my life is half over and at a point where I wanted to be looking forward to start being with my companion and enjoying the hard work of a career and being together to explore the rest of our life together. I have found that I’m really starting from scratch: That my wife and companion wants this part of her life to not be without me, but away from me. Friends YES, companion NO. We figured out that she will take ¾ of our retirement and half of the savings, I get the house and bills. This means I tighten my belt a bit and keep headed in the direction of hope for the future. Both daughters are supporting me and are understanding.
I took yesterday to drive up to my parents place to tell them about what I still feel is a little bit of being a failure. Over coffee as my Mom was making a batch of sour-dough sweetrolls I told them of the plans for divorce. Without missing a lick of the rolling pin my Mom said “GOOD, it’s about Time! You deserve a chance to be Happy!” My dad just smiled. When I told them when that it will be finalized , which will be on their 57th anniversary, They both said that would the best gift I could have given them. They said they were proud of me and the man and father I was, but they had become sad years ago that I would not know the true joy of companionship that they knew. Talk about being hit with a shovel! Makes me wonder how blind I was to what my marriage has looked like from the outside looking in.
I know I will still struggle and that there will be many things that me and the Wife need to work out and work through. But as I sit here in an empty house this morning drinking my coffee, I smile at the sunshine coming in the back door and I realize that my Wife left me years ago! Hello Out There! Looking through the tears I’m crying, I SEE A NEW WORLD COMING. Hugs everyone, Keep me in your prayers!
I took yesterday to drive up to my parents place to tell them about what I still feel is a little bit of being a failure. Over coffee as my Mom was making a batch of sour-dough sweetrolls I told them of the plans for divorce. Without missing a lick of the rolling pin my Mom said “GOOD, it’s about Time! You deserve a chance to be Happy!” My dad just smiled. When I told them when that it will be finalized , which will be on their 57th anniversary, They both said that would the best gift I could have given them. They said they were proud of me and the man and father I was, but they had become sad years ago that I would not know the true joy of companionship that they knew. Talk about being hit with a shovel! Makes me wonder how blind I was to what my marriage has looked like from the outside looking in.
I know I will still struggle and that there will be many things that me and the Wife need to work out and work through. But as I sit here in an empty house this morning drinking my coffee, I smile at the sunshine coming in the back door and I realize that my Wife left me years ago! Hello Out There! Looking through the tears I’m crying, I SEE A NEW WORLD COMING. Hugs everyone, Keep me in your prayers!
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