wanted to die
Last night was one of the most horrible nights of my life........I waited to long to take anything before going to bed so by the time I went to bed I was hurting so bad I could hardly stand it. I was laying on my stomach with the heating pad under me, I started moving around just trying to find a position to alleviate some of the pain, nothing was working. The tears began to flow, I was crying so hard the bed was shaking, I could not stand it, I had my hands in my hair about to rip chunks out and was now in the fetal position with the heating pad between my legs and stomach. I was trying so hard not to scream the pain was so intense, I finally got up because I felt like I was going to get sick and I could not handle the pain anymore......poor Justin was beside himself not sure what to do. I gagged a couple times but was trying so hard to not get sick being that I had just taken the pill. Justin finally coerced me back to bed, he held me as I sobbed and at one point begged him to just cut me open and rip my insides out, he kissed me and rubbed my back, just kept saying I love you and that I would be ok.....I even at one point said I felt like the guy from the SAW movies was inside my body wreking havoc.....I could not take it, the pain was so bad. Finally the pill started to work I could feel my body relaxing just a little, it never did take the pain away but it did make it at least tolerable, I ended up crying myself to sleep in Justins arms, he held me all night. I woke up constantly through out the night from the sharp stabbing pains......Last night was one of the longest nights and God was it aweful.....At one point I seriously wanted to just die, that is how bad it was.......and what sucks I am in just as much pain today, and I am stuck at work, but I am drugged up.....which I do not like to be but today I can't help it...........I just have to say ENDOMETRIOSIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!