Walking Wounded

The anniversary of my Husband's death is mid June.  I feel like the walking wounded.  I see the changes in my grief patterns, and I am not as weepy as I was, yet there is a numbness that has set in that seems to blanket me when I am not at work.  Everyday seems the same, never ending and certainly lonely.
I reach out to friends and they kindly text me or call me for a brief chat, yet their life is the same and mine is so vastly lonely.  Some of the worst words I can hear are "have a good night or hope you have a great weekend", I want to scream or slap them, and wonder how will I do that, when he is gone and all of them are doing what they do.  Don't get me wrong I have fantastic friends, but made a physical move the week my husband was diagnosised and now my support system is in another city.
Ready for this phase to end.


Community LeaderShrn

It\'s hard anticipating upcoming special days either personal or holidays. The memories are so acute and the loneliness of missing them stronger. Sending you a gentle hug. Sharon

Thank you for your response. I don\'t post often, because I don\'t get feedback, maybe I am doing something wrong.
I know you are right, yet . . . My friends are so kind, as is my family, yet I am the first to loose a spouse, and I hear the profound silence, when I imagine them trying to puzzle through what to say. Most times I just say at this moment I am fine. I hate this.