walking on eggshells
Sept. 2014
It is odd the way that time makes everything come to an understanding in some aspects. As I look at pictures on Facebook, I realize that a lot of the families, not all, but a lot don't post any pics but of themselves, their spouse and their children. So I have come to the conclusion that for the most part as we age we become a relationship that is something of a commitment that they have to include us in some things but would rather not. A duty I guess you would call it. Not a want of you in their lives but more of I guess I have to have you somewhat in my life let's get it over with. Wish my life was over with.
Well she came back into my life Mother's day last year. Oh it was so nice for awhile. Her car broke down we had an extra , lent her the car while she got hers fixed. We said she should go to our mechanic he is always good and fair. Well she thought he charged too much ( even though we looked up local places and he was certainly inline with a 2 yr longer extended warranty). She called her dad "buddy" in a rude way and now is cold , distant and we had to pay the bill. She is angry....I am so used to getting thrown away it doesn't matter anymore...really it just doesn't matter.
It is odd the way that time makes everything come to an understanding in some aspects. As I look at pictures on Facebook, I realize that a lot of the families, not all, but a lot don't post any pics but of themselves, their spouse and their children. So I have come to the conclusion that for the most part as we age we become a relationship that is something of a commitment that they have to include us in some things but would rather not. A duty I guess you would call it. Not a want of you in their lives but more of I guess I have to have you somewhat in my life let's get it over with. Wish my life was over with.
Well she came back into my life Mother's day last year. Oh it was so nice for awhile. Her car broke down we had an extra , lent her the car while she got hers fixed. We said she should go to our mechanic he is always good and fair. Well she thought he charged too much ( even though we looked up local places and he was certainly inline with a 2 yr longer extended warranty). She called her dad "buddy" in a rude way and now is cold , distant and we had to pay the bill. She is angry....I am so used to getting thrown away it doesn't matter anymore...really it just doesn't matter.
Replies
So sorry. It is nice that you are strong and can deal with the abuse and at the same time have the warmth to be giving. Not easy to deal with. I also would rather hold on and hope for the best. Why would she be angry? Some people are angry no matter what. I understand.
This generation feels \"entitiled\". I didn\'t have the money to do this, I owe back taxes of over 2000 dollars. She owes us 4000 dollars from a few years back that we will never see. I told her tonight when she picked up her kids, ( that I watch 6 afternoons a week! that I made a payment plan that would be easy for her, 50 dollars a week for 8 weeks. She barely acknowledged I said anything, sort of like I\'m not giving you any money...sigh.....She went out and bought Mcdonalds for her girls there goes 10 dollars, and new car seats,she already had some....
Sorry for ranting, I am just very very frustrated. I have gotten used to being thrown away, but I am tired of only being wanted to be used.
I am tired of being bullied, I watched the kids 6 days this week and she wanted me to have them sleep over Friday night so it would be \"easier\" for her not to have to come back in the morning to drop them off. So she comes late, no explanation and runs out the door when her dad said he had practice at the church with the music team. So....I guess blindly I wanted to believe she truly loved us when all she is , is out for herself. :(
the cold shoulder, the not speaking, but the using to babysit
apparently she is done with me forever, announced it on facebook.....and all this over 400 dollar car repair.
4 hours sleep, things are finished....after a week of her dropping the kids off everynight and not saying anything to us, texting to pick her daughter up at school because she wasn\'t going to be there in time to pick her up, my husband said this is enough bullying. Well with that came taking of the kids away forever. She turns everything around and makes us the bad guys. I\'m so sad so frustrated and know that I cannot stay in this because life has to go on even though I don\'t want it to.
there is no light at the end of the tunnel, my life is a waste of breath. I am in the darkest place and there is no relief. I wish I never had kids, the ones I have loved most, I obviously have failed
so, here I am a day before a year ago when she came back into my life. There is a saying... fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Well there is no more fooling, for a daughter that I loved with my whole heart. She will not get that chance to throw me away again. I hope her children afford her the same grace she affords her parents for not being perfect, we certainly gave her that grace.
You are babysitting for no pay? I would have her pay me the $50. per week until she has paid you what she owes you. After all, an outside sitter would cost 10 times that. Maybe she will learn something from that. Just one thing, I am not as far along this journey as I wish I were, but there is one lady on a board I post to who is where I need to be some day. Here is what she has said about herself:
\" I was an awesome mom raising my kids....I am a misunderstood mom now that my ED is on her own. That does not make me worthless\".
She has found peace in this as I hope we all do. She has not let what one person has done, define her as a total human being.
Well here we sit, one daughter back and the other one who lies and manipulates is gone, and to be honest I hope she doesn\'t come back. She has spread horrendous lies to my 15 yr old granddaughter who believes her sick deranged mother. Trust is gone, never do I want to be in this situation of opening up to her again to have this happen. She was telling lies while we were getting along....oh am I stupid...not any longer.
Each day is a choice, I can either give God the hurt and be thankful for who and what I have in my life, or I can dwell on a daughter who lies, manipulates and is a wicked planner of evil schemes. Lord make it easier and easier for me to give You praise!