Walk Tall
Early in the summer of 2006, just over a year after I'd quit smoking, I was at a particularly low point, questioning a lot of things. There had been a huge blowup on the on-line smoking cessation support group I was a member of and it was over something I'd said. There was a member who was passing herself off as a Reiki Master and natural healer. She was nice enough, although I saw through the "give me a credit card number and I'll send you healing energy where ever you are" scam (she had her own website, she did not market on the support group). Anyhow, she had suggested another member who was having trouble sleeping (side effect of nicotine withdrawal) take melatonin before bed. Melatonin increases the activity of the immune system and should NOT be taken by anyone with auto-immune diseases. In some cases it could develop into a life-threatening problem. The board had many homosexual members (one specifically I learned later was HIV positive), so I followed her post with one warning about that. She took issue with me, claiming I was implying she didn't know what she was doing. I replied with a calm and polite explanation, but by then her friends had joined her side, my friends had joined my side (I had a side?), egos flared, lines were drawn, and the whole board started falling apart. The board's owning company called in all their moderators to hide the damage. Posts were edited, posts were deleted, whole threads would suddenly just disappear. Every time I tried to explain and right things, it just got worse. Nothing I could do was right. She was a fan of fairies, angels, and other spiritual/metaphysical beliefs. The members who formed "my side" were mostly mainstream Christian who saw all that as evil. Note that I do not believe as they do. Evil is as evil does. There were a lot of very good people in the "enemy's" camp and some pretty sorry ones in "mine". One of the innocents caught in the mess was a member I'd become close friends with since she joined just over 3 months before. A beautiful, peaceful heart whose only desire was to not smoke and to help others to do the same. Our desires in that were closely paralleled. She spoke up for peace and "my side" blasted her as one of "them". She spoke up for me to the member who'd taken offense and was blasted by that side as a "traitor". It was time for her 100 day celebration (a major milestone there) and the celebration club was shattered. No party for her accomplishment. Honestly, I cried inside when I learned of what was being done to this gentle, loving soul. As I was sitting there, wondering what I had done that was so terrible and how I could right it when nobody would listen to me, John Mellencamp's "Walk Tall" came on my headphones. It gave me the advice and encouragement I needed right then to believe in myself, know that I had not done anything wrong, and to realize that it was the "simple minded and uniformed" who were causing the problems. All that was required of me was to stand in my own integrity, do not give in to the bigotry and hatred, exercise grace, mercy and forgiveness, and Walk Tall in my truth. I have strived to follow that advice ever since. So I downloaded an IM program, found the gentle soul who was being so battered by the storm, and we helped each other through that dark time while the board dealt with itself. Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gCH1RYWlE4 Lyrics: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Walk-Tall-lyrics-John-Mellencamp/CDE2E109CF421B9B48256F5C0009B9D4 There are two versions to this song. In the video version, the last two lines of the first verse are sung as "I wish you all along the sidelines, have the strength to walk tall". The version I have is as given in the lyrics link and, to me, is much more meaningful.
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