WALK not SIDESTEP
Today I walked around the assisted living faculity where I have resided for 5 yrs. This is the first I have atempted this because I HAVE HAD NO INTEREST. The reason I am saying this is because we as individuals living our happy lives tend to do exactly what I HAVE DONE the OH SO FAMOUS SIDESTEP. WHY do we do that. Because that is the easiest way to hide our past, or just simply sit down and try to forget what has gone on.Da......' have I ever had a giant wake up call. This is past due. So I hid behind a thing or to. NOONE will care. BOY does this sound like me. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE DONE..Eversince I have gone thru this bout of depersion I AM REALLY ASHAMED OF MYSELF. You beat yourself up and continue to hide behind that cloud of smoke that I have carried with me.[I DO NOT CARRY A SMOKE GUN] I CARRY the TEARS, THE LIES, and oh yes this one I MUST BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. Now like I said I HAVE been by myself for 5 yrs and after someone reads this the TRUTH FROM MY HEAST I FEEL LIKE I WILL LOSE MY FRIENDS and I AM SCREWED...' This has been very HARD FOR ME but I NO THAT I AM NOT SIDESTEPPING BUT WALKING WITH MY HEAD UP. THANK YOU because had I not searched out D.'Str. I would not beable to do this. Maybe youll not believe the writtings later ON BUTI FEEL RELIEVED. SO I ASK YOU WILL YOU STILL BE AROUND. THANK YOU and HUGS TO ALL.
Replies
Wow Milklover you have made a great accomplishment today! I hope that walk was refreshing for you. There's absolutely no need to feel ashamed of depression, you are the victim not the culprit, you are the one in pain not the one causing the pain. What is there to be ashamed of? "There is a friend sticking closer than a brother " ............" A friend who's born for when there is distress " , these are the kind of friends you need, not ones who will leave you after knowing the truth about you. Such friends are rare so choose wisely. I'm happy you had your walk, do it more often and see the beautiful birds, count the colorful butterflies, watch the busy ants and feel the gentle breeze. You will gradually feel better. HUGS for you too.
Good for you! Getting things accomplished is a good feeling, especially when coming from a place where no interest use to exist. I usually just veg on the weekends and typically dont do very much but today I got myself up and got some things done as well. Feel better for it, too. Yes, we must walk with our heads up. The time is NOW!
Yes I think depression is entirely self centred. it's really freaky how when you come out of it a bit you realise how much other people needed you and you were too busy suffering to be there for them.
Depression is such a strange place, and it takes so long to realise any of what's going on and how it fools you.
You're like you are climbing out of a damp cardboard box: it's great to see you come out. You have so much courage. :) Come right on out, nobody's going to ditch you as a friend just for coming out into the sunlight.
Yea I know what you mean about beating yourself inside and don't know why?..no one pays attention as so it really seems they are to be walking around in a daze.I just want to thank you for the friendship! tomcat
I was just reading.....I knew all along but this is a good reminder: Animals heal.........stroking a cat or dog lowers blood pressure and reduces anxiety, you can lower your heart rate if you just have an animal around. So if it is allowed, get yourself a pet and hopefully you will see some improvements.
im so proud of you for getting out. i know how you feel - ive been isolated (with agoraphobia) for as long as you have but i always had my dog for company til December. ill take 'take a page from from your book' & try to get out.
message me whenever you need someone - i might not be able to get right back to you, but i will respond. your friend forever, M.