Waking up everyday?

I have been waking up for the better part of a year living my life the same. I want to leave him in the morning and am very positive by the end of the day we will be over and i will obtain my life once more. By about the time i get to school he has called and i convince myself he is not as bad as he seems. I go through class and try to ignore that nagging feeling of failure. He calls. We fight and i go to his house. He is mad cause i am tired. I have woken up at 5am and attended classes along with a long commute. I feel unhappy, unfulfilled, misunderstood and helpless. We reconcile and like a drug i am momentarily happy. We fight once more and i give in to whatever his side of the argument is. After all i have learned in 4 years its easier to be wrong. Hes been lazy, hes out of work and i am doing all the heavy lifting to get him a job. He assures me hes doing all he can but every time he gets money he spends it on pot. I leave usually after he falls asleep despite my one request that he stay awake. Even though he slept all day while i was at school. I go home feeling deflated, defeated and like my life is slipping by. I want to cry. I cant though. I walk inside and half heartedly greet my family who have become strangers to me. I alienate myself to hide the turmoil. To avoid their criticism that echoes in my ears. I know their opinions of him...they echo my own. I long for sleep and for escape. He asks me why i read so much its because like sleep its an escape from my bleak reality.